Luisa laughed. "Yes, definitely. She teases me sometimes for overthinking."
Naomi grinned knowingly and took over from Lara. "She's friendly... I think she can make friends with absolutely anyone. And open, she reveals her vulnerability and that encourages you to reveal yours." Luisa nodded her agreement. "She's positive, always sees the optimistic interpretation of something rather than dwelling on what might go wrong."
"That sounds very familiar.”
"Good... that's the real her you're seeing." Naomi paused. "One thing to watch out for, to be careful around, is that she is sometimes slower to see the obvious than others. It's almost like her positivity and her confidence mean that she needs time to think big things through, if you know what I mean?"
"I think so..."
"Like, her being into women is a great example. We knew. We all knew, right back at university. We'd have drinking games and she'd always be the one who ended up having to kiss other women. She slept with my best friend from school when she came to visit. She slept with our team captain and went back for more. It was so obvious. But not to her."
Luisa smiled. "I guess she needs time to process."
"Exactly. That's exactly it. But it happens for everything, you just need to be patient, not push her."
Sitting silent for a few moments, Luisa toyed with whether to confide her concerns in the two of them. She decided not to, notjust yet, but she could ask something close to it. “We've been talking, me and Amy, about how our relationship works. Long distance and everything."
"Ok..." replied Lara.
"And... don't tell her I said this, but she's reluctant to engage, wants to talk about it another time, tells me it's complicated." She paused and looked at them both. "That sounds like what you were just telling me, doesn't it?"
Naomi smiled. "It really does. Think of it from her perspective. A few months ago, she was settled down with her long term boyfriend, probably heading towards marriage, a house in the suburbs, kids at some point, all that jazz. Her next twenty or thirty years were obvious. And now that's all changed. I think for the better, she's so happy now. But that's a hell of a lot of uncertainty and a hell of a lot to process. Give her time and she will, but don't try to force it. Not unless you have to."
Luisa felt herself blush slightly, and said quietly, "I've fallen so hard for her. I'm scared that she might change her mind. When she's thought about it, I mean."
"If it's not obvious to you yet, it's obvious to me." Naomi took Luisa's hand in hers and leant towards her for emphasis, looking her in the eye. "Amy is head over heels in love with you. I've never seen her like this, not even close. And I've seen her in love before, trust me. This is different, special." She paused, searching for the right words. "The way she looks at you when you're not by her side..." Naomi shook her head and smiled. "Everything else can be solved, trust me. Distance, her not wanting to open up, all of that... it can all be solved. And she'sworth it. She really is. And there's no way she's changing her mind."
Luisa nodded in agreement, not quite trusting herself to speak in reply to such a heartfelt endorsement of her and Amy. In the end, she just found herself nodding again.
Naomi took her hand away and then Lara nodded towards Luisa's pint. "Not going down too well?"
"It's a bit more than I'd normally drink. Of beer I mean. Anything else would be good."
"What time is it?"
"Three.”
Lara stood up and grinned. "Amy bringing you over's a special occasion, so I reckon that's not too early for a cocktail. Come on, I know a good place nearby, she can meet us there."
Amy
London
Amy sat on the edge of her bed in the house share, staring at the wall without really seeing it. The room felt foreign around her... Naomi had done her best to make it welcoming but Amy's boxes that she'd come back with that day were stacked in the corner, her life still in transition. The afternoon light was just beginning to fade, casting shadows across the floor, and she knew that she needed to go and meet up with Luisa, but she couldn't bring herself to move, not quite yet. Luckily, all the messages she'd been receiving from them showed that they were having a great time and getting along like a house on fire. Amy was pleased, not just for Luisa but also because she needed some space, just a little, to process her day.
She still wasn't quite sure how she'd answer if anyone asked her how the day had been.Weird?No, more nuanced than that.Unsettling?Maybe.
She'd arrived at the flat determined to be efficient... in and out with her belongings, don’t drag it out, don’t let the memories crowd in.
That worked, right up until James turned up.
He wasn’t supposed to be there, that had been their agreement, and her initial reaction was irritation. But then she’d looked at him, and she couldn’t stay irritated for long.
He’d looked different somehow. Not physically, still the burly rugby player, but fragile with it. It was the way he held himself, he looked tentative, lacking his usual confidence.
“I’m sorry,” he’d said, pre-empting her. “I just… I couldn’t let you take everything without saying goodbye properly.”
She remembered afterwards how his voice had caught on the word ‘goodbye’, how he'd looked at her with such naked longing that she'd had to glance away. They'd been together for years. She had loved him, she still felt a great deal of affection for him. Not in the way she loved Luisa, not with that all-consuming fire that she realising now had never been there with him, but with a steady warmth that had been real, whatever else it wasn't. As much friends as lovers towards the end, but she cared for him still.
