"It's a little chilly," I admit, glancing around, which might explain the lack of swimmers.
"Not looking forward to getting out," Zak adds. "You know, shrinkage and all. Actually…" His eyes light up. "Don't think that's a problem for some."
Harvey lets out a deep, rusty chuckle, and I'm so relieved that there's no weirdness between us. He greeted us both with a hug when he came to pick us up, and the conversation has flowed naturally the entire time. Just like it did last night over cards.
But somethinghasshifted. An electric current pulses whenever the three of us are close. I'm pretty sure they both feel it, too.
"I, uh, didn't hurt you last night, did I?" he asks me.
"Not at all." I swim a little closer to him. "I love a good throat bashing."
A small grin lifts his cheeks. "Would it be super cheesy if I said that I like that you're more comfortable and talking so openly like this?"
"Not at all. Because you're right. I do feel comfortable around you. And I'm glad you're…cool with everything."
A slight frown. "Everything?"
"Yeah, you know. Us. Our love of cum. Our careers in porn. All of it."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Zak drifts nearer. "We, but Jack more than me, have unfortunately had some less-than-pleasant encounters with people who have a big problem with what we do and who aren't shy about expressing it to our faces."
"Fucking people," Harvey mutters, shaking his head.
"It barely happens these days, but when we were performing, it happened frequently enough to inflict some damage."
I take over the sad story. "After a few years of performing and dealing with people's range of reactions to it, the psychological impact added up. Chronic dissociation, emotional numbing, heightened anxiety. I experienced it all in what felt like one giant rush. I was so burned out the lines between performance and self blurred until I didn't know where one ended and the other began. I learned to compartmentalize intimacy as a survival skill, but that same mechanism later resulted in trust and intimacy issues."
I smile sadly. "Therapy talk, but it's all true. There weren't any resources available to help me at the time. Sadly, there aren't all that many today, either. In addition to advocacy work, mental health support for adult content creators is something I’m actively working on as well."
Harvey's forehead has three deep creases on it. "And are you okay now?" he asks, taking my hand in his.
"Oh, for sure. It just means I'm a little guarded around new people and hesitant to tell them I work in porn."
"That makes total sense. I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope I've never said or done anything to make you feel bad."
"No. You've been wonderful. Youarewonderful," I clarify.
A smile lifts the frown from his face. "You're pretty wonderful yourself. You both are."
Zak slides his palms around Harvey's lower back, and he stiffens.
"You're the most beautiful man we've ever met," I say to appease any self-consciousness he may be feeling. "And I see why they call them love handles because I?—"
"We," Zak correctly interrupts.
"Sorry,welove them. We love your whole body, Harvey. It's perfect."
"And your cum tastes delicious, too," Zak adds, rubbing his hand along Harvey's lower back. "In case you were interested."
He makes a grunting sound of approval, and then just like last night on the front porch, he places his giant mitts at the back of our heads and draws us into a three-way kiss, beards scraping, breath mingling, cocks hardening.
"How about we continue this at my place?" Harvey rumbles.
"No chance we'll make it that far," Zak says solemnly. "We're going to have to blow you on the beach."
Harvey's eyes dart between me and Zak, and I for sure think he's going to shoot the wild idea down.
