“Because I’m yours.” I leaned my forehead to his now.
He closed his eyes and pulled my chin up to give me a deep, lasting kiss. It was the kind of kiss that warmed you to a spiritual level. Full of passion and meaning. A kiss you could fall into and live in forever.
When he released me, he gazed at me, just as deeply and echoed, “Because you’re mine.”
My eyes searched his, almost desperate to find an inkling of malice or deception. Something to keep me tethered to reality. Something to act as a lifeline so I wouldn’t be lost in the haze of new romance. But only pure, genuine affection radiated from the deep green hues.
I was losing the battle. Of sense and sanity.
And if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t sure why I was still fighting it.
Chapter 19
Training
Rhazien kept me to himself for the next night and day. We spent the time getting to know one another, that is, when we weren’t exploring and worshipping each other.
When the dusk bell chimed, Rhazien looked at me like a fox and asked, “How many times do you think I can make you scream my name before the sun goes down?”
Dozens. I’d whispered, begged, moaned, and shouted his name dozens of times before soft, courteous knocks interrupted us. I was flushed from our most recent round of adoration when Rhazien finally allowed Alba to enter with breakfast.
“Kiss me before you drink this. I want to taste you before you’re tainted,” he commanded with a smile as he handed me a fresh mug of coffee. I rose on my toes and happily obliged.
“You might have to get used to it, Your Majesty. I can’t live without the stuff,” I said as we parted and then lifted the brew to my lips. It was missing my preferred sugar and cream, but it was the thought that counted.
“I assure you,” he tucked a loose tendril behind my ear, “you can.”
I beg to differ.
Rhazien’s blood had worn off again and I felt like I’d downed seven bottles of Bromport wine. The headache was relentless, and I understood why humans of the Hive would want a constant dose of blood. I hadn’tasked for more and Rhazien hadn’t offered. I didn’t know what I would say if he did.
A distraught Gorvin whisked away his regent. The vein over the steward’s hairless temple protruded with worry over all of the abandoned tasks since my welcome ball. Dommik escorted me in silence to my lessons with Oddo.
I was as hungover as a sailor on shore leave, although I didn’t look it. The dress Alba had chosen today was one of the most decadent yet. The sheer sleeves, though revealing, were decorated with gems in a floral pattern. The shining vines stretched from my shoulders to my wrists. Complimentary silver thread adorned the corset and skirt.
It was beautiful and I felt beautiful in it.
The lesson was captivating, answering every question I’d ever had about sires and fledglings. I was ravenous for details, but the young Master of Archives was being more tight-lipped about the experience than I’d expected.
“Each vampire’s rebirth story is deeply personal. Not all of us chose to transition. For some, they were turned without consent and never came to terms with their new life.” Oddo exhaled and rubbed at his eyes as if trying to erase a memory. “Madness in vampires is unfortunately quite common, as is suicide.”
I thought of the Original Culling. All those newly turned vampires were left to the sun before they understood what they were. But that was vastly different from knowing what they’d become, understanding what existing as a vampire meant, and being so uncomfortable in their immortal skin that they’d rather meet their end.
However, was it so different from my own story? I had declared that I was done with this life. I’d nearly chosen the axe over the Hive. I understood why someone might choose death. Because with death came the promise of rest and peace. I understood it, but it didn’t make it any less sad.
“Oh,” I lifted my hand to my mouth, “Oddo. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to?—”
“No,” he said, waving a hand and shaking his head. “It’s fine. It’s better for you to know and understand as much as possible before Winter Solstice.”
He said Solstice, but what he meant was before Rhazien offers his shadow. After two days in bed with the regent, I did have a deeper understanding of the gravity of the offer.
There wasn’t much to know about the process. A priestess would oversee the ceremony—as would anyone invited to witness our binding—we would recite some words, and then we would be shadowbound. It sounded like a human wedding.
It was the after that came with the elements of the agreement that concerned me. If I were to die before I was turned, I would become one of the malicious entities—a shade stuck between realms of life and death. A shadowy specter comprised of hate and despair. I shivered as the fearsome, glowing red eyes assaulted my memories.
Oddo noticed my discomfort, gave me a side-long glance, and declared, “That’s enough for tonight.”
Dommik donned his typical commander’s leathers and led me to the main ballroom. Besides a standard, cordial greeting, we hadn’t spoken to each other. Something was off about him.
