I gasped with the abrupt clang of the iron lock and stood to find a panting Rhazien entering his room.
My eyes immediately dropped to his healing but bloody clenched fists. His cream tunic was stained with crimson splatter. I wanted to ask what happened, why his hands were so battered, but that would be a waste of breath. I already knew.
“When did it start?” His brows scrunched together.
“Just last night,” I said and he huffed a laugh.
“I don’t mean when did youfuck him, Reyva,” Rhazien bellowed before composing himself. “I want to know, when did your feelings for him start?”
I uncoiled myself from a reactive wince. “I don’t know.”
Rhazien removed his ruined shirt and used the fabric to wipe the gore from his knuckles. “So, you admit having feelings for him.”
Crystal clanked against crystal as the regent fumbled with a decanter of brown liquor. He turned, drink in hand and leaned on the small bar.
I considered lying. But my lids fell closed, pushing a heavy tear into the world, and I admitted, barely above a whisper, “Yes.”
“Is it love?” He looked down at the chestnut liquid in his glass.
My breath hitched. I hadn’t said it. Not even silently to myself.
“Is. It. Love?” he asked again through gritted teeth and protruding fangs.
I couldn’t deny it. The truth was, I was somewhere in between.
Rhazien erupted. “Do you LOVE HIM?!” The glass flew past me and shattered. A gust of his fury circled me before capturing my shoulders and lifting me to my tiptoes.
“I don’t know!” I sobbed through gasps.
Rhazien set me down and my body slumped to the floor again. My form shuddered as wave after wave of emotion swept through me. Fear, shame, embarrassment, confusion.
“And what exactly did I do to earn this betrayal, Reyva? My commander?! Who is like a son to me. Theweekof Solstice. The week I expected you to accept my offer and become bound to me?! My FUTURE QUEEN!” He knelt next to me as his questions crescendoed.
“And what about your betrayal?! At the Northern Hive?!” Each word became more venomous than the last. Like they’d soured as they’d festered in my body and were rancid now that I finally let them out.
“What I did?” Rhazien asked without even a micromovement to signal recognition or guilt.
“You drained those slaves.” My accusation wasn’t meant to be comical, but Rhazien chuffed and stood, pacing away from me as if he couldn’t believe the accusation.
“I’m a fucking vampire, Reyva! A ruler on a diplomatic visit to a Hive where that kind of behavior is normal. It’s what was expected of me and I warned you of that.”
Rhazien leaned against his desk, arms folded, mouth set into a firm line. His condescending tone fueled enough rage within me to encourage me to stand.
“You’re never there for me!” It was a poor excuse for my poor choices, but it was true. It was the fight we hadn’t dared, chosen at the most terrible time.
Wide eyes considered my response. Through a stilted breath, he asked, “What do you mean, I’m never there?”
I looked up to him, not bothering to wipe away the rivers of tears flowing down my cheeks. “You abandon me. Constantly.”
“You think I prefer being away from you? I would spend every minute with you if I could. But my Hive, my people, need me.”
It was the argument I’d made on his behalf in his absence dozens of times. The excuse I would use to convince myself that he wasn’t just using me for my abilities or to ascend. But there was a reason I had stopped believing the narrative.
“Was it expected of you to fuck those women as well?”
Every muscle in Rhazien’s broad body froze. Only a slight eye flinch gave him away.
“Well, Dommik was there to comfort you, wasn’t he?”
