My heart dropped into my gut, leaving my chest empty and tingling. I wanted to say yes. Enthusiastically. But I didn’t know. The truth was I thought I could, one day, fall in love with Rhazien. I’d given most of myself to him, but always reserved a small piece for someone else—forthe man standing in front of me. I resented him for it. For his unrelenting charm, his quippy mannerisms, his overpowering presence.
Even now, I was being pulled into his gravity.
“Why?” I whispered. I didn’t even want the small creatures of the safe house to hear my hesitation.
“I need you to tell me you love him,” he pleaded. “I need to hear you say it to make it real. Because it might help me let you go.” Dommik let the words trail off and tilted his head. My mind hung on the word might. It might help. Which meant it might not.
“I don’t need to love him to be bound to him,” I said softly.
“But that’s not what I asked.”
He’d been vulnerable and honest, so I returned the gift. “I thought I was falling in love with him. But now, I’m not so sure.”
I’d never taken to hunting for sport, but I knew there was a rule that if an animal was in pain, it was best to put it out of its misery. My response might have been honest, but it wasn’t the kindness he’d wanted or needed. I didn’t kill what was really wounding him. His hope.
“Eat and rest, Reyva.” Dommik leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on top of my head. The delicate expression was a far cry from the wanting, hungry lips devouring me in the Northern Hive.
“Wait…are you leaving?” I stammered as I watched him retrieve his rucksack and aim himself toward the stairs.
My entire world had been flipped upside down by his admission and now he was just going to leave me in yet another windowless cage to sort through all these feelings?
“You can’t come with me. Not dressed like that. And Asher wouldn’t appreciate it if you vomited on him.” Just the thought of hours on a mount sent my gut into a sickening spiral. My breath hitched and I covered my middle with my arms, the movement lifting the shirt further. Dommik’s eyes fell to my bare legs.
“See this—” He gestured. “This is what I was talking about.”
Nothing. I was doing nothing. I was simply existing in the circumstances dealt to me.
I dropped my arms. “Where are you going?”
“To investigate,” was all he let on. “I will be back in a few hours.”
I looked at my feet and nodded, holding in a scoff. My unruly dark locks fell at the motion. I pushed the mass back to look up and found him studying me.
“Please.” The blues of his eyes pleaded with me to listen. “Please stay down here until I’m back. Please. Listen to me. Just this once.”
“Fine,” I said in a huff unbecoming of a woman my age. “Just this once.”
“Hm.” He smirked. “That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said.”
My limbs were left burning for him. I almost told him to come back. To prove it to me. But what would be on the other side of that proof? Hurt, betrayal, punishment, death. Did I care? Or…had this changed things?
I’d put on his pants and had to roll them four times so they didn’t drag on the floor. The oversized clothing made me look like a survivor marooned after a shipwreck. My hangover had subsided enough for me to sit up and braid my hair, taking me no less than three times to get it right. My thoughts kept wandering to his words.
It’s everything about you.Maddening.It’s my duty…and so much more.Curious. Would he feel that way if I gave in to him? If I did say yes. Did he really love me? Or was he just like any other man and wanted the conquest? Once he had something, he’d surely tire of it.
I ate a piece of bread in silence. I thumbed through the books. I knew better than to venture up the stairs after the last time, and who knew if Eryx had more thralls in the forest searching for me. No, I wouldn’t take any chances this time.
When the bread was gone and I’d realized I was rereading the same page over and over again, I paced the length of the cellar. Back and forth dozens of times, running through the images from Dommik’s memories, the words he spoke tonight, and every night before.
I wondered if Dommik would come to me as I laid curled up on the bed. If I would wake to the feel of his body next to mine.
But Dommik never came.
To my surprise, he kept his distance and his vow to his duty.
And guilt writhed within me when I realized I was disappointed.
Chapter 32
