I could barely look at him, my eyes heavy from the pulsing fulfillment that moved inch by inch through my bloodstream with each elevated heartbeat.
His hands framed my head. I wanted to return the favor. But from the look in his eyes, he seemed as satiated as me.
“I should go.” He licked at the corner of his lips.
“Go where?” My chest heaved, the exhaustion from pleasure settling into my muscles.
“It’s midnight. Events are in full swing. It’s suspicious if I don’t make an appearance.”
The time was impossible to tell in the windowless depth of the caverns, but if it was truly midnight, I'd have slept in much later than I normally did. By now I had typically wrapped up my lessons with Oddo and was on my way to have midnight lunch before lessons with…
“It won’t be suspicious that you smell like me?” I didn’t know for sure if that’s how it worked.
Dommik shrugged as if he wasn’t worried about it. “There are ways to mask your scent.”
“How?”
“You don’t want to know,” he said, rising to his full height.
In the wake of my receding tide of pleasure, I realized how catastrophic this decision had been. I’d succumb to a fleeting pleasure to stoke my ego and satisfy my curiosity.
Dommik could blame his nature. I had nothing to blame.
I wished there were ways to mask my guilt along with my scent.
“Dommik,” I panted, looking up from his muscled chest to his tender gaze. “This can never happen again. Ever.”
His already small smile fell into a slight frown. His twinkling eyes hardened back into the gaze I recognized from the duty-bound soldier.
“Right,” he said, pushing away from the wall to hunt for a shirt. “Stay here. Alba will bring you everything you need.”
He departed abruptly and as the door closed behind him, I was left there. Alone. With the pulsing reminder of my betrayal.
Chapter 25
Seven Sisters
It had been three days since Dommik knelt for me.
Three agonizing days confined to his chambers. With no windows, I tracked the hours through unconventional methods. It took twenty-five minutes for Alba and I to complete a game of noddy. I could polish off a bottle of wine on my own in roughly two hours. And Alba drew scalding baths twice a day replacing the chiming bells that helped me keep time at the Southern Hive.
All in the name of hiding me while my cycle ran its course. It was as if I’d never shown up alongside the Southern Hive traveling party at all. No concern at my disappearance. No search party. And the most noticeable absence—no Rhazien.
I tried to ask about the regent, but Alba didn’t have any information. With her permission, I’d even tried to conjure a vision from her. It had been a failure. Either she was telling the truth, or Rhazien wasn’t wearing his preferred golden crown in any of her memories. I chose to believe the former. I needed to believe my one confidant could be someone I could trust.
Dommik had yielded his chambers—my latest cage—and made himself scarce. The commander appeared once a day to confirm my safety and proof of life but limited our interactions.
“Are you well? Do you need anything else? Until tomorrow,” he’d ask during his swift visits, never coming close enough to be tempted to touchme. The way he opted for averting his gaze rather than the lingering looks I expected from him was a noticeable change in behavior. I wondered if he felt ashamed.
In my time alone with nothing but the company of a decanter of wine and my thoughts, I replayed the moments. Sometimes savoring the memory, other times justifying it.
I was in a vulnerable state.
He couldn’t help himself. He needed to feed.
We wouldn’t let it happen ever again.
Was he living by a similar narrative?
