“I’m fine,” I lied again.
“Reyva. Stop,” Dommik declared quietly, earning my attention. “You’re not fine. And I thought we already established that you could admit that to me.”
We’d established no such thing. He’d been there in a time of need, stepping over his self-proclaimed boundary that I was just an assignment. And then he manipulated my gift to deliver the secret message of his pained affection. Dommik was someone I could trust with my physical wellbeing, especially in this dangerous place, but my mind was at constant war with him.
“I cannot keep up with you. You’re impossible to predict,” I scoffed, pacing away from him. I wrapped my arms around my middle. The perfectly practiced speech I’d prepared evaporated into nothing and instead I blurted, “I’m just an assignment.”
Dommik’s stance went rigid, every muscle tensing beneath his onyx clothing.
“If you truly support Rhazien and the future he’s trying to build, then I need to just be an assignment.” My fingers dug into my arms as I waited for a response,anyresponse. I rolled my lips together and impatiently asked, “Are we in agreement?”
I needed this, to hear him say it. Not only that he agreed, but that he could mean it.
“Yes,” he said and my shoulders relaxed a little.
I raised my brows, waiting for him to continue. Surely there was more to his statement. “Yes, what?”
Dommik stood tall in his stillness. His lip twitched, a condescendingremark hidden behind the ghost of a smile. His knuckles cracked beneath his palms before he raised them to me. “We are in agreement.”
His hesitant cadence didn’t convince me in the slightest.
“Good,” I said, dropping my arms and kneading my hands together. There were larger efforts at play here, and at the very least, we could pause this tug of war between duties and feelings until we were back in our own Hive.
Or perhaps being here, in this place of violence and painful memories, would remind him what we were working toward—a new future and era of peace across all Atoris.
That is, if everything went to plan. If I became shadowbound to Rhazien, ruling beside him and showing both the vampires of the north and the human realm to the south what a peaceful, cohesive future could look like. If we found Lorana’s stone and Atoris didn’t descend into a bloody war for vampiric rule.
Staying the path was the right thing to do. It would benefit the most people.
Even with so much hinging on these pivotal moments, why couldn’t I shake the feeling like I would be denying myself happiness by severing my interest in Dommik?
I chalked it up to a selfish, foolish piece of me. It was a greedy, lust-filled whisper from the recesses of my mind that I wouldn’t give attention or credence to. This desire was a younger me. One I hoped I had buried for good.
Chapter 23
Mine
Navigating the reception crowds felt like pushing against an unrelenting tide. There was no room made, no allowances, no warm welcome as there had been within the Southern Hive. Because here, I was human. I was less-than. And I shouldn’t expect any special treatment, despite belonging to Rhazien.
The Northern Hive ballroom was expansive and dark. Between torches, members of the vampire court perched within the natural rock formations, overseeing the debauchery we navigated below. I tried not to linger on any singular part of the scene around me.
Members of the court were openly feasting in the ballroom alcoves. Writhing bodies fornicated against walls and bent over tables. My stomach pitched as I slid my gaze around the room. The sad, unseeing eyes of human slaves stared blankly into oblivion.
Dommik led me past an enormous stone fountain, spilling blood from its tiers, towards his regent, who was in the midst of a bout of eruptive laughter when we reached his side.
“Ah, Rhazien! You were right. They didn’t run away together.” Rhazien turned as Eryx announced our arrival. Torch light burned in Rhazien’s green eyes as they quickly assessed us. His focus flicked across my body. My hair, lips, chest, and hands before relaxing. My brows pinched slightly as I realized he was scanning me for traces.
I was trying to parse what Eryx meant when he murmured into agolden goblet, “I guess history doesn’talwaysrepeat itself.”
I looked at Dommik who tucked his balled fists behind his back as he bowed slightly and said, “Everyone is capable of change, Your Majesty.”
“Ha!” Eryx laughed, continuing his antagonistic comments. They washed out in my ears as Rhazien claimed my attention.
“My jewel,” Rhazien growled as he reached for me, pulling me into a forceful, public kiss. The already uncomfortable display of affection was only made more so from the sapidity of his mouth. Metallic and hot. Nausea bubbled in my throat as I realized I was tasting someone’s freshly consumed blood.
I tried not to react as we parted. The last thing I wanted to do was cause a scene or offend anyone from this Hive.
“Majesties.” I attempted to curtsy from beneath Rhazien’s restrictive wing and lowered my eyes to hide the creeping betrayal I didn’t feel entitled to. “I trust your meeting went well.”
