“Hmm?” My hand stilled.
He lifted his head and repeated, “Are you happy? Here? With me?”
“Yes.” The answer surfaced instantly. I meant it. I was happy. He made me happy. Happier than I’d been in a long time. Happier than I ever thought I could be, especially here.
His eyes lit up, his own happiness driving away the hint of concern I hadn’t noticed until it was gone.
“I’m yours,” I said, hoping to reassure him further. The way he’d worked so hard to reassure me that I would be safe and protected.
“And I’m yours.” He kissed my knuckles.
My heart swelled with his declaration. I wanted more of this. My lifecould be filled with this. If I could just let go of that nagging, consistent pull to Dommik. There was one way I could cut off its oxygen and snuff it out completely.
“And I’ve made a decision,” I began, knowing my next sentence would change everything. He held his breath as he listened.
My heart pounded as I willed myself to have the courage to tell him what I’d chosen, hoping I wouldn’t regret what couldn’t be changed once I committed myself to it. But it was the only way this life would work. This life. My life. With him.
“Rhazien,” I whispered, “I’ve chosen to accept the honor of being shadowbound to you.”
Chapter 22
The Northern Hive
It took two days and one overnight stay in a vampire safe house to reach the seaside dwelling of the Northern Hive. Unlike the towering castle of its southern sister, this community settled itself underground. Save for a small village, only a few additional guards gave away that a place of value was hidden among the seaside plain. Rhazien’s royal carriage rocked as it descended into the caverns with the Southern Hive’s convoy.
My cramps, momentarily tempered from the batch of tonic Gorvin insisted on packing, had continued to escalate throughout our overnight journey. Each wave became more difficult to hide as the pain mounted. From time to time, I squeezed Rhazien’s hand to expel some of the aches of my cycle. In response, he would kiss my knuckles. He didn’t suspect my discomfort, and I didn’t want to worry him. This was an important trip and I wasn’t going to pull his focus from his duty with something so normal. So manageable. So human.
We shared our carriage with Gorvin and Alba. I’d insisted I needed a human female companion for the journey, seeing that most of my daily interactions lacked feminine connection. Rhazien hadn’t batted an eye at the request. In fact, he agreed immediately, seemingly happy that I’d finally asked him for something. Maybe he took it as a sign of my growing comfort within the Hive. In truth, she’d become a confidant and I’d started to rely on her. Even trust her.
During the many hours traveling together, the steward and the chambermaid would sneak glances at us and occasionally shift their weight, careful to respect each other’s space. Rhazien felt no such need for restriction. He held my hand, caressed my knee, whispered into my hair, placed gentle kisses on my hands and temple.
I didn’t shy away from any of his affection. Each touch gave me a moment of reassurance that I made the right decision. To commit to him fully, my regent protector. His large hands swallowed mine whole and I imagined my troublesome doubts suffocating within our layered grasp.
Since agreeing to receive Rhazien’s shadow, my uncertainties had been dull but constant. Like a roar from a distant raging river, it beckoned. But I ignored it. Each kiss from the immortal I belonged to drowned out its calls. Because what was the point in entertaining doubt? Sure. My gifts could help locate this relic—this stone—that could prevent the next vampiric war, but I’d been used in worse ways for reasons far less important. And in truth, I was using him too. For protection. For comfort. For pleasure.
Being here in this role kept my family safe as well. There wasn’t a better option. No available better outcome. This was going to work. Ithadto work.
“Don’t be nervous,” Rhazien breathed into my hair as the carriage came to a halt. “You’ll be safe with our guards.”
I gave him a soft smile. “And you.”
“And me.”
The doors promptly flew open, letting in the warm glow of torchlight and echoed murmurs.
Alba exited first, followed by Gorvin. Alone for the briefest moment in the transport, Rhazien stole a kiss. He lingered there, hovering on my lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for hours.”
I smiled and pulled him in for another, deeper kiss, suddenly wishing we could retreat to the seaside cottage he had mentioned. Just me and him. But peace in Atoris hung in the balance. There was no calling off this visit.
After reluctantly parting, he cradled my cheeks in his hands and whispered, “This meeting is crucial for keeping peace between the Hives. I may need to partake in customs not practiced in the home you’ve come to know.” I opened my mouth to respond but he continued, “Just remember, I’m still me.”
The footman announced him and he exited before I could ask himwhat he meant by this poorly-timed disclaimer. I was anxious and underprepared, but his warning pulled the rug out from under me.
Rhazien stood just outside the door to escort me out of the carriage. My name resonated off the stone walls and Rhazien’s hand steadied my descent to the cavern floor.
We were dressed in our most presentable travel garments, ready to be received by the Northern Hive court. My emerald gown featured a beaded embroidery made to match the patterns on Rhazien’s tunic. My hair was woven around a jeweled circlet complementing Rhazien’s golden crown.
Steps echoed behind me and the looming form of Dommik Thorne flanked my left side. We hadn’t spoken since the audience, not that there had been much opportunity. The weight of his stare pressed into me, only to flit away once I turned my gaze to his.
