I didn’t want to hear it. Saying it out loud makes it too real. Words had power, but then again so did thoughts.
“What about?—”
I held up a silencing hand.
“I need to go before—” I waved to the freshly stocked vases around my chambers “—before I start sneezing and ruin my makeup.”
I yanked the door open, not waiting to see if my escort believed the excuse for my quick departure. My skirts fought to keep up with my elongated steps.
This was not how I wanted this evening to go.
I didn’t want to be angry. Angry at Rhazien for leaving me to arrive at the reception alone. Angry at Dommik for ruffling my feathers. And angry at myself for letting him.
That will not happen again,I vowed, feeling the promise to myself sink deep into my marrow. I was reclaiming my power and forging my own destiny. My future would lead to a crown and immortal happiness next to Dommik’s regent.I will not stray. I am Rhazien’s.
Chapter 21
The Audience
Rhazien ruled from a place of logic and strength. All of his declarations were reasonable compromises. However, most of the residents had simple, fixable concerns or complaints. One vampire requested reassignment from farming to pursue a glassblowing apprenticeship. Another brought a grievance about a neighbor’s treatment of their human servant.
The steady, clear-headed regent listened attentively, asked thoughtful questions, and each citizen departed thanking him for his time. Additionally, all of them acknowledged me with a bow and a prayer to the four for my good health.
The throne I was seated in matched Rhazien’s in every way. We were being presented as a pair, a partnership, equals. I wasn’t involved in the proceedings beyond being present, and after receiving Dommik’s message, I was barely able to hold focus.
The commander flanked the right side of my throne and Gorvin was his opposite, framing Rhazien’s left. But while Rhazien and Gorvin would engage from time to time to confer on notes between citizens, Dommik did not attempt conversation with me. That didn’t mean I wasn’t painfully aware of his looming presence.
Dommik had escorted me to the ballroom, shadowed me until Rhazien arrived, and silently took his place next to me.
I’d wanted to ask him why now? Why this moment? Why, after we’dachieved what I thought was our new normal, did he feel called to admit to his feelings for me?
His timing was horrid and his delivery had been unnecessary, especially since I’d been aware his feelings were gnawing at him for days.
There was no pride in this victory. It made nothing more clear. It didn’t pave a path forward to better days. Instead, it would lead us into a dangerous abyss if we let it. And I couldn’t let it…
This is what I was brought here to do. This is who he delivered me here to be. Seeing this plan, which he was fully aware of from the start, should not be this difficult to understand or bear witness to. And if it was, it was entirely his fault for defying orders and tasting me.
Rhazien leaned my way, catching my eye and pulling me from my thoughts. “How are you faring, my jewel?”
I’m exhausted,I thought with a new appreciation of how much energy it takes to attentively listen for hours on end. “I feel a bit like decoration, but I am well.”
It was a small lie wrapped in a truth. I did feel like decoration. Like his jewel. But I didn’t feel well. Not with my head swimming with Dommik’s words and not while signs of my cycle rolled through me, tensing the muscles in my back.
“Can I get you anything, Majesty? My lady?” Gorvin inquired.
My cramps were present, but I still had time before they became unbearable. I didn’t want either of them to fuss or worry over such a natural occurrence, but admitted, “I do have a slight headache.”
“I’ll fetch you a tonic.” Gorvin only stayed long enough to finish the sentence before making a swift exit.
“Master of Tasks.” Rhazien wiggled his brows and extended a hand to me. He called to the footman allowing guests to enter and exit the small reception room from the larger gathering hall. “We require a break. Leave us.”
The footman obliged, bowing before exiting.
“You too.” Rhazien’s gaze floated over my shoulder.
“Majesty.” Dommik’s leathers groaned and footsteps receded. For the first time, his absence gave me a sense of relief.
Once alone, Rhazien exhaled and slouched in his throne dramatically. Each day he revealed more of himself to me and what I’d come to appreciate about him most recently was his jovial humor. It was never public, like a piece of himself he saved for me. Like I was in a safe space wherehe could let it out from time to time before donning armor and continuing his role as the ever-serious immortal leader.
