“What is it, Solène? What is it youdon’twant to ask me?”
“I want to know if there are others.”
Hayes took his time responding. “Right now?”
I nodded.
He shook his head. “There are no others.”
“What does ‘right now’ mean to you exactly? Today? This evening? This week? What does that mean?”
He took a moment too long to formulate his answer.
“You know what? Never mind. I don’t want to do this to you. I don’t even know that I want to know.”
“Okay,” he said, slow, careful.
“You’re trying not to hurt me.”
He nodded, biting his lip.
“Fuck.”
“I’m trying not tomisleadyou,” he said, soft, his hand moving in my hair. “I just want to make certain we’re on the same page.”
“Hayes, I haven’t done this in a while. I don’t even know what the page looks like.”
He chuckled at that, kissing the top of my head. “It looks like this, Solène. We get together when we can, and we really, really,reallyenjoy each other’s company. And I wouldn’t say we were just fucking.”
I took a moment to process that. “Are you doing that with anyone else?”
“That?Right now? No.”
“Right now this week?”
“Right now this month. Does that work for you?”
I nodded. “If it changes, will you let me know? I’m not going to lose my mind, I just want to know.”
“If it changes, I will let you know.”
He kissed my head again, and I could feel him breathing me in. So much lay in what we were not saying.
“What’d you do while I was gone?” he asked. His hand had found its way back to my knees, rings cool against my skin.
“Went through all your stuff. I sold your underwear for ten thousand dollars on eBay.”
“Only ten?”
“Turns out fourteen-year-old girls don’t have that much money.”
“They do in Dubai.” He smiled, his fingers traveling farther upmy skirt, prying open my thighs. “Are you splitting the proceeds with me?”
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
He laughed then. “Somehow that doesn’t seem fair.”
“Life isn’t fair.”
