“How are you holding up with everything?” he asks gently.
“With what?”
He gives me the most obvious look in human history. “...The breakup, Mads.”
The word twists somewhere deep in my chest. Guilt presses quietly against my ribs.
“I’m good,” I say, forcing a small smile. “Really. We’re good. I’m good.”
“Okay. I just—I don’t want to mess anything up. You’re my sister. He’s my best friend.”
Another wave of guilt rolls through me.
I should tell him. I really should. But I can’t.
I rest my hand lightly on his arm. “You’re not messing anything up, Noah. I promise.”
He nods, though the concern doesn’t fully leave his eyes. “Alright.”
“Mads!” “Noah!”
We look up to see Kiara waving. Mel and Liam are already curled together under a blanket by the fire. We smile and head toward them, but I don’t see Ryan sitting with them. He’ll come… right? He saidsee you tonight. Unless he’s tired. Or busy. Or doesn’t want to see me.
Okay. Someone seriously needs to locate the off-switch in my brain before I explode.
Snacks get passed around. Every now and then the breeze makes me shiver, and the fire pops louder in the quiet between laughs.
“Hey, Ryan!”
My whole body goes alert before I can stop it. I turn to see him walking into the firelight. He greets people as he goes—quick hugs, those half-handshake, half-shoulder-bump things guys always do, a grin flashing across his face. And then he laughs. The sound makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. And suddenly I’m not just looking at him—I’m remembering him. Ryan laughing so hard he nearly choked on his drink. His voice, low and warm during late-night conversations that made me feel safe. The way he held me so gently, and not so gentle when he kissed me.
My stomach flips. And I look away before I can do something stupid.
Universe? You could just take me out now. That’d be fine.
He slows when he reaches the circle and his eyes find mine. He gives a small nod and a careful, quiet smile. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I manage.
This is going to be alongnight.
43
RYAN
Oh,fuckno.
Firelight snaps in the wind, sparks lifting into the dark like tiny shooting stars. Music blasts from someone’s speaker. Groups of students crowd the sand, laughing, shouting.
It feels loud. And somehow I still feel completely outside of it. Liam says something beside me that I don’t even catch—because across the fire, Maddy laughs. That laugh that used to live right next to my ear.
She seriously needs to get a different laugh.
The night moves the way bonfire nights always do. We play dumb beach games. Talk to random people from school. Pass around drinks. At some point the sky turns deep blue, stars pushing through above the water. The air gets colder, and everyone shifts closer to the fire.
Kiara suddenly jumps to her feet, brushing sand off her jeans. “Alright,” she announces, pointing toward the ocean. “Time to take a quick dip, losers. Come on.”
Liam grins, pulling off his shirt as he stands. “Great idea.”
