When I walk inside, Ethan's at the table with the sitter doing his homework. He's scowling in concentration as she climbs to her feet and collects her things.
"Hey, buddy. How was your afternoon?"
"Good. I finished my reading already." He holds up his worksheet and taps it with his pencil. "Can you check my math? I think I got them all right this time."
The sitter walks past me smiling, but I'm too numb to speak as she says her goodbye and rushes out the back door. I let Caleb into my heart. I was falling for him, and I let him around Ethan and I never should have. I'm barely holding back tears.
"Let me see." I sit down next to him and pull the paper closer, going through the problems one by one. I'm barely thinking coherently as I circle a few in a row that are correct.
"Told you," he says, grinning.
"You did tell me." I find one he missed and point to it. "This one, though. You carried the wrong number. See?" My mind is reeling, and I'm fighting to stay in the moment, but I think I may start crying any minute.
He looks at it and groans. "I always mess up the carrying part."
"That's what practice is for. Fix that one and the last one and you're done." I hand him the pencil, and he erases and starts reworking it, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration.
When I hear the front door, I think maybe it's the sitter who forgot something, so I rise from my spot and walk to the living room, opening the door to find Caleb standing on my front porch. I want to say my heart feels safe and relaxed, but theamount of pain I'm feeling is unreal and the smile on my face is plastic.
"What do you need?" I ask, realizing my tone doesn't match my face.
"You okay?" he asks. "I was going to see if you wanted to grab some fast food and take Ethan to the park. I'd like to talk to you about something."
Tears burn in my eyes, and I blink them back as I clear my throat and clench the door knob. "Ethan has homework tonight, sorry." I feel like a volcano ready to erupt. I expect this out of Derek. The problem is I trusted Caleb and I shouldn’t have.
"Olivia, did something happen? Can we talk?" He moves forward, but I press my lips into a firm line and look down.
"You know, Mr. Ward," I say, looking up at him, and I see the shock and pain in his eyes now too. "I'd have hoped you'd have heard what that monster did to me and been better. But you're just like him. You were never here caring about me and my son. You were stalking me to report back to my ex-husband." I'm trembling inside, ready to break down. "Well, congratulations. You might well have cost me my son."
"Olivia, wait?—"
"Good day, Mr. Ward. Please don't come back to my house for any reason."
I back inside, shutting the door, and the tears start.
They fall heavily for several minutes as I stand there leaning on the door, waiting to hear his footsteps move. When I hear Ethan call my name, I try to fix my face, but there's no point.
That man broke my heart in the same way it'd already been broken, and the sad part is he knew what he was doing as he was doing it, and he did it anyway.
I seem to be a glutton for punishment. The world's punching bag.
And I'm getting really sick of feeling like this.
16
CALEB
Istand on Olivia's porch staring at the locked door as the porch light clicks off and I'm left there reeling over what just happened. I'm not sure if Derek got pissed because of how I told him off or if Olivia figured it out on her own, but she knows.
I knew this moment was coming, and as much as I tried to shelter her from the shock and pain, it was inevitable. My chest feels like someone drove an axe into it, and my hands curl into fists in rage as I back off the porch, fuming that I let Derek do this to me—and her. I didn't do my job checking him out. I blindly trusted him because of our past and how he helped a man I know. It was my mistake in this, taking a job that led me down this path.
Stomping across my yard toward my house, I decide enough is enough. It's over and I'm not going to play this game anymore at all. I already know what he's doing, and I know if I back out, he'll just send someone else. But now that Olivia's aware, it'll be easier for her to spot a plant, not to mention I can keep an eye on her, even if she never wants to talk to me.
If Derek wants to be petty, then we'll play petty games. Someone called in those complaints to her boss. I can find out who did that. And I can put my foot down and not work for him ever again. And if he thinks I'm going to move away so he can set someone else up in this house, he's wrong. I'm not moving until I'm sure Olivia can handle this.
I pace my kitchen, stewing for a few moments to let some of the anger simmer. I can't be upset with Olivia because she is the victim in all of this, but the hurt I feel is making me so mad. I'm angry with myself for not just being honest to begin with. If she knew I was there to gather information on her, we never would've let it get as far as it did. Though, I may never have gotten the information, either.
Regardless, the blame falls squarely on my shoulders for the way she feels right now, though Derek played his part too. I pick up my phone, calm enough now that I feel able to tell him off without sounding irrational, and he answers right away.
