"And what have you seen?"
The truth is right here on the tip of my tongue, ready to expose Derek Bennett for who he is, but I know holding back is better for her. I stay in place, and he doesn’t get a chance to hire a real jerk who could destroy Olivia's life.
"I've seen a woman who holds her shit together and never asks anyone to help her, and she’s damn good at it." The pull is too strong. I feel restless now, like if I don't walk away, we're gonna go down a path that might hurt her worse than just my deceit.
The mug stops halfway to her mouth, and she stares at me with her lips slightly parted. There's a vulnerability in her eyes that has us staring at each other, oblivious to the world around us. It's not like I told her how beautiful she is, though she is. But maybe complimenting her right where her insecurity needs it is more powerful than saying she's pretty.
"That might be the nicest thing anyone's said to me in years," she says, almost whispering.
I force myself to look away so I don't get the urge to kiss her, because God, I want to kiss her. I want to worship her from head to toe and let her know her true worth. But she doesn't need a man to devour her sexually in order to show her how valuable she is. What she needs is a man who can help her see herself the way she truly is, which is strong and capable. And right now, that's going to make me want things I shouldn’t want.
"You should go inside," I tell her gruffly, though I don’t mean to sound like a jerk. I just have to shut this down or we'll regret it.
She doesn't flinch at the tone. She just smiles at me slowly. Apparently, she's so used to my grumpy ways, she doesn't mind when I grump at her now.
I felt the shift, though—the one where you've crossed a line with someone and you both know it. And for some stupid reason, I want to feel it.
Man, I'm in trouble.
9
OLIVIA
"Don't make me go in…" I say softly, smiling at him like he's the father figure and I'm the rebellious teen who refuses to submit. I like talking with him, and right now under the moonlight, it's peaceful. I feel like we're connecting.
"If you're gonna make me stand out here and talk with you, the least you could do is offer me a seat." Caleb's voice is less stern now, gentler than it has been the last few times we spoke.
"Come on over. I have an extra chair on my back patio." I wave him over and walk to my patio while he meanders down the fenceline. For some reason, my heart skips a beat.
The idea of sitting out here late, speaking with such a ruggedly handsome man, feels like the most exciting and rebellious thing I could be doing. I've been hiding from the nosiness of my ex-husband for so long, I think I forgot how to live a little. And I've been lonely because of it. In three years, I haven't been on a single date or even entertained the attention of a man.Meanwhile, Derek has one woman or another at his home every week and it's hard to keep track of who he’s with.
As I sit to wait, I think of how badly that might affect Ethan and how Derek twists it to make me look abnormal or unstable. I'd rather have no man in my life and be a good mother than expose Ethan to a dozen men in as many months and confuse him like Derek does. It sours my mood significantly so when Caleb sits next to me, I'm the one who feels grumpy.
But I paste a plastic smile on my face and angle my body toward him as he adjusts his posture. Instead of sitting on the patio chair, he chose the bench, and we're close enough that our knees touch. But he looks very stiff, almost uncomfortable. It's hard for me to decide whether he's not ready for interpersonal connection or he is and he's fighting it, kind of like I've been for a few weeks.
"So, you sit out here a lot?" he asks, breaking the ice.
"Only when I have a lot on my mind, and this week has been a doozy." My drink has gone cold, but I still hug it between my palms as my eyes sweep out over the lawn. Ethan didn't put his bike in the garage again. I'll have to get after him for that. Someone could steal it. And gosh, my lawn needs to be mowed again. My mind wanders as I realize that I'm now getting a little nervous.
Caleb is sitting right next to me, making my heart flip a little.
"What do you have on your mind tonight?" His low baritone rumbles through me, drawing to my mouth the things I don't really want to say but that I’m prone to oversharing sometimes.
"Oh, Derek… He's just really pushing my buttons lately." The last thing Caleb needs to hear is me complaining about my ex-husband, but he has to have seen the way Derek talks to me in the driveway at drop off and pick up time for his visitation schedule.
"Seems like you two don't get along well…" He's leading me, but he's not prying.
"Well, he cheated on me—twice. So there's that." I feel the bitterness rising, but I try to smile through it and it's just not working. I'm thankful it's dark out right now. I don't want him to think I’m purposefully harboring bitterness. I really am trying to let it all go. Derek just makes it impossible.
"Wow, that sounds painful." His fingers curl and flex, and his body shifts, angling toward me more now too.
I sigh and set my mug on the patio table, then pull my knee up onto the bench between us and turn to face him fully. "Yeah, I forgave him when he said it was a foolish mistake, but the trust was gone. I snuck into his phone and stuff because I couldn’t let it rest, and it wasn't six months later I came home to him in bed with another woman—in my bed." Now my heart is hammering. I'm oversharing, but it's been so long and with no friends to vent to, I sometimes feel like I'm an island to myself.
"I'm really sorry that happened to you, Olivia," Caleb says, and this time he puts his arm up across the back of the bench until his fingers brush my shoulder, and trail up my neck. The touch sends a sensation of tingling over my skin. I turn toward him to see his eyes locked onto mine. "And to think how strong you've been for Ethan this whole time."
"I don't feel strong. I feel like I have no choice but to keep putting one foot in front of the other?—"
Before I can even finish my sentence, Caleb's hand is on my cheek, thumb brushing my cheek bone, and he leans forward. His lips seal over mine in a heated kiss that takes me by surprise and steals my breath, but I don’t pull back. His mouth is insistent and hungry, opening to tempt me, so I reciprocate hesitantly.
