He only gave me attention when it benefited him—when I could be his personal accountant or when I could be his fuck toy.
He wasn’t putting himself on the line for when I wanted or needed him, even for something as simple as seeking comfort after the news that someone had almost broken into where I lived.
For a long while, with so many minutes passing that I lost track of time, I stood in the shower and let all the thoughts and questions bombard me. Eventually, I lowered to sit with my back against the wall.
Alternating between zoning out, sobbing, frowning, and lightly crying, I let an entire array of emotions assault me.
The water had turned cold, but without knowing how to articulate my grief—not just for the man who was supposed to be my father but also for myself in how he’d used me for so long—I couldn’t find the energy to snap out of it and move.
I sat there, shivering.
And I probably would’ve sat there freezing all night long if Adrik hadn’t come.
He stormed into the bathroom, clearly seeking me out.
“Fuck.”
His form moved behind the frosted glass wall.
“Yes. I found her. She was showering.” He hung up his phone, tossing it to the vanity as he hurried to the door.
It slid open loudly, but I didn’t flinch. I couldn’t. I was too numb—with my skin so cold and my mind so dulled.
He scowled, reaching over to shut the water off.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded as he reared back to grab a towel.
I don’t know. I really don’t know.
“You knew it was coming.”
I should have.I’d done myself a disservice in avoiding reality for too long. I should have known something like this was coming once I realizedIwasn’t going to be killed after that first day.
“How the hell can you be this broken over him?” He wasn’t slow or gentle as he wrapped me in the towel. The thick, plush terry fabric barely registered as a tangible weight on my skin, I was so cold. “How the fuck can you be grieving him, Elena?” He spoke with such disgust, so much incredulity, that it should’ve jarred me to react.
As he lifted me off the floor of the walk-in shower stall, I couldn’t do anything.
I couldn’t think.
I couldn’t speak.
I shut down, and as he carried me to place me in bed, his face so stern and disapproving, I wondered what kind of world I’d find when I snapped out of this haze.
One where I would still be used and dismissed, never loved and appreciated?
Or something else?
25
ADRIK
After I returned from killing Morovov, I had to hurry to a standoff with one of the smaller Bratva families who were trying to argue that we had no leader. This shit was getting old. My father hadn’t died yet, and even if I wasn’t fully and actively taking over his role as the interim leader, there were three more of us brothers. Maksim, Viktor, and Nikolai were all waiting behind me in succession. There wouldneverbe a question about the throne staying in our family.
I hadn’t wanted the unnecessary headache, and after I was through with the leaders from the Konstantin Bratva, I felt like they wouldn’t be forgetting what I’d said.
In short: Back the fuck off.
I came back to the estate and asked about where Elena was. For as much as she was a hardworking woman who seemed to enjoy spending hours with numbers and spreadsheets, I thought she might still have been in the big house. Or maybe she’d wanted to stay for as long as possible on the chance she could see me.
