My mother is already waiting for me at a table near the windows.I stride over to join her, feeling as if I’m walking up to a hangman’s noose.
“You think this whole Thanksgiving dinner is a good idea?”I ask.
“Right to the point.”She looks hurt, but she hides it with a smile.“It’s good to see you, Seth.Thank you for coming.”
I’m only here because I want to make sure Thanksgiving isn’t a disaster for Madison.Myself, I can handle a little awkwardness.So can Madison, honestly.She knows what she’s getting into with my parents.But I don’t want anyone to cause her pain, or make her feel rejected.She’s had enough of that recently.
And some of it was my fault.
Jesus, I was an idiot to pretend I had no feelings for her.
Well, we’re past that now.
A server comes along to take our order.I ask for a salad with braised tuna.It’s something I can eat quickly if the conversation is going badly.
Once the server takes off again, Mom gives me another tentative smile.“To answer your earlier question, yes, I think Thanksgiving dinner is a good idea.It’s time we really became a family.”
I wonder why she has a sudden interest.“Is this because of what Erich Pointer did to you and Dad?”
“Yes, and no,” she says thoughtfully.“I believe that was the spark.You showed that you cared about us, in coming to our rescue like that.I know you must have used considerable resources.It made me reflect that we never did anything to deserve that kind of response.We weren’t the most attentive parents.”
That’s putting it mildly, but I refrain from saying so.“And you want Madison to come to this dinner?”
“If you two are serious, then yes.She’s a part of your life.”
“You didn’t react so well to that news when I first shared it with you.”I set her up by sharing the news like that, I know I did.I was a dick.And other than the hurt it caused Madison, I don’t really regret it.
My mother’s rings flash while she gesticulates.“You can’t possibly be angry at me for my surprise.”
“I’m angry at you for calling Madison and berating her afterward.”
She has the grace to look at her lap.Whether she’s truly ashamed of her behavior, I’ll probably never know.The truth is, I don’t know my mother.Or my father, for that matter.Perhaps it isn’t fair, but a part of me blames my mother more for her absence than I do my father.Actually, I know it isn’t fair.My father is equally to blame for Kyle’s and my lonely childhoods, and our lack of a relationship now.
“It wasn’t my proudest moment,” Mom admits.“I will be sure to apologize to her.”
I must look skeptical, because she adds, “Seth, I truly do want us to rebuild our family.If Madison is once again a part of our family, your father and I will accept her with open arms.”
Our food arrives, and with it, an easy change of subject.Mom waxes on about how good her veal is, and asks me detailed questions about my salad.It’s an innocuous, boring conversation, the kind you’d hear between two strangers who have nothing in common.
She asks me some questions about my work, and expresses a smidgeon of maternal concern over the dangerous nature of the job.I reassure her that Damiano and I are mostly found behind desks, not on missions.
Finally, we finish and she insists on paying the check.As we head out of the restaurant together, she says, “So, five o’clock on Thursday?”
“We’ll be there.Or I could come alone.”
“What about Madison?”
“Bringing her might be a bad idea, to be honest.Yes,” I say, before she can argue, “I know you want to apologize.But there’s no taking back what you said to us.I’m not sure you’ll be welcoming.”
“Seth.”She gives me an aggrieved sigh.“I will be welcoming.Everyone will be welcoming.”
I pause.“Everyone?Who else is coming?”
“We invited the Dannigs.”She flags down a taxi.“I didn’t think you’d mind—you and Kyle always got along so well with Eliza.”
The Dannigs were family friends, in the sense that we saw them on the rare occasion where we had to perform as a family.Eliza was closer to Kyle’s age than mine, and seemed equally ignored by her parents.I felt especially bad for her, since she was an only child.
“Sure, of course.I’ll see you all on Thursday.”
