Her light blue eyes tighten with pain.“We were close friends.”
I hear what she isn’t saying.“If he had lived, do you think more would have happened?”
“Maybe.Yeah.I don’t know.”She sets down her mug and gazes out the window where a couple of women stroll hand in hand down the sidewalk.“I told myself it would never get to that, because even though he complained about Madison a lot, he was also devoted to her.I could tell he loved her.”
“He did,” I agree.“But he was also young and stupid.”
She gives a rueful laugh.“Yeah.So was I.When he confided in me, even if he was just ranting about Madison, I felt special.I wanted to be more important.Not just to him, but to everyone.My parents.My friends.Maybe even myself.I was a nobody, and he made me feel like somebody.”
Fuck.I want to go back in time and yell at my brother to take his head out of his ass.
I take a sip of my espresso, letting the bitterness wash down my throat.“It sounds like an emotional affair, instead of a physical one.”
“I guess.I don’t know if I’d say it even went that far.”She shakes her head of red curls.“Except for the fact that he never told Madison he was coming to hang out with me.That’s where we could say lines were crossed.We were immature, and we weren’t being fair to Madison, either way.”
I drain my espresso.I think I’ve heard enough.“Thanks for taking the time.”
My voice is gruff with emotion.Hearing about my brother being a dickhead—it shouldn’t be a surprise.Hewasyoung and immature.I was an immature dickhead at nineteen, too.It strikes me again just how young he was when he died.
He never had a chance to grow up.
But that’s no excuse for the way he treated Madison.
As I turn to leave, Eliza says, “Seth?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think I should explain things to Madison?I’d like to apologize, because I’ve always felt a bit guilty about everything.But I never thought it was my place.I didn’t want to upset her just to make myself feel better, you know?”
I shrug.“I don’t know what the right call is, but I wouldn’t reach out anytime soon.She knows how to find you if she wants to talk.”
“That’s true.”She pauses.“Thanks.”
8
DAMIANO
Iam reviewing the specs for a new mission when Chris Hammond waves to get my attention in the hallway.He’s one of the guards I’ve had assigned to Madison’s house.
“Yes?”I say.
He clears his throat.“So, we aren’t supposed to report on comings and goings at the Greene property…”
“Yes?”I repeat, narrowing my eyes.“Unless it has to do with security.”
“Right, exactly.”
He pauses for so long, I start to wonder if he could be having a stroke.At the same time, if there is any detail about Madison that he thinks I may want to know, it turns out that I very fucking much want to know it.
I am about to tell him this when he bursts forth with, “I’m not sure this qualifies, but SEFD came to the house last night to check her carbon monoxide detector.”
“And what did they find?”I ask.
“They said all is well, no problems.”
I nod.“Well, good.That is good, then.”
He nods back and scurries away, like he still isn’t sure he did the right thing by reporting on the SEFD visit.
