I chuckled. “Probably because I would. Speaking of driving, though. On Monday, can you give me a ride into Juneau, then bring me home later? I have to have an MRI on my ankle, then surgery on this.” I raised my bandaged left hand. “It should just be an outpatient procedure. They’re going to pin my fingers.”
Walker winced. “Ouch. Yeah, I can do that.” He frowned. “What about Lana, though? She’s not taking you?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I didn’t ask.”
“You didn’t—” He raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you ask?”
“Why would I? She’s just a client.”
Liar, my mind whispered.
I told it to shut up.
“Yeah, right.” Walker let out a little snort. “And I fly like a grandma afraid of her own shadow.”
Rolling my eyes, I scrubbed my hand over my face. “Whatever. Look, I don’t want to talk about Lana, okay?”
Walker crossed his arms. “What did you do?” he asked, completely ignoring me. “I saw the way you looked at her, the way she looked at you. There was something there, so don’t tell me I’m full of shit.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I still wasn’t ready to process what happened. Last night, I just shut my brain off and slept. This morning, waking up next to her, I’d had a moment of contentment, then realized I was in bed with a woman not my wife—and feeling happy, not guilty about it. That had been enough to make me throw up all my walls and shove all my emotions into a box to process when I was alone.
Not with Walker breathing down my neck.
My friend snorted again. “Now who’s full of shit? Look, I’ve known you a long time. Before and after Cara died. You looked at Lana the way you used to look at Cara.”
“Oh, yeah? You sure about that? Because I loved—love—Cara. I don’t love Lana.”
“You sure about that?” Walker tossed my words right back at me, one eyebrow raising in question. “Because I saw a man relaxed into a woman’s touch, grateful she was safe. I watched you step in front of her—right in front of that gun. Don’t tell me you’d do that for just anyone.”
I looked away, uncomfortable with the feelings his words provoked.
Because deep down, I had an inkling he was right. If it were any other woman Deke wanted to take hostage, would I have stood there, willing to take a bullet to keep her safe? I’d fight for her, sure, but would I deliberately step in front of a gun before a single punch was thrown?
Walker grew tired of my silence. “You have a good think on that.” He dropped his arms back down to his sides. “I’ll be happy to take you to Juneau Monday. But if you change your mind and ask Lana, text me.”
I nodded, running my tongue over my teeth, still refusing to look at him.
His heavy footfalls signaled his departure, then the front door opened and closed with a bang a moment later.
A muscle in my jaw ticked. I glanced at the closed door. Beyond, I heard the engine of his truck start up with a growl, then grow faint as he drove away.
Damn him, anyway.
Why did he have to plant that seed?
The “L” word.
It wasn’t love. Just lust.
My body tightened, growing aroused at the memory of Lana rising and falling over me last night.
Really strong lust.
Because it couldn’t be love. I’d had my shot at that emotion, and she died. That sort of thing was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
Right?
Chapter 27
