But why was I even surprised?
This year our team principals had turned what should have been a clean championship fight into something toxic.They had been bitter rivals for years, and as Henri and I had climbed to the top of the standings, their feud had infected everything.All of a sudden, every racing incident got twisted into a deliberate attack.
The Hermes’s principal, Verhoeven, seemed to think I had a personal vendetta against Henri, that every overtake was reckless, every defensive move unsportsmanlike.It didn’t matter what the stewards ruled or what the data showed—in Hermes’s narrative, I was always at fault.Always out to get him, always the villain in his story.
Something raw and bitter had formed where our friendship used to be, leaving my once-friend unrecognizable.
Not that there was much of our friendship left to save anyway.
After that night in Las Vegas, everything changed.I’d drifted off to sleep thinking we’d figure out how to make a relationship work as drivers between two different teams.Instead, he’d come up with some pitiful excuse and fled.
There were no more late-night calls, no funny memes or silly texts making fun of overly serious journalists.That casual easiness between us had disappeared.
But it was pre-season testing that had truly cemented the end of our friendship.When Hermes posted suspiciously fast lap times, Felix accused them of running illegal parts.Hermes fired back, claiming Rennen’s car design violated regulations.The FIA had to step in with inspections, and suddenly Henri and I were caught in the middle of a technical war neither of us had started.By the time the first Grand Prix started, Henri had transformed into this cold stranger who looked at me like I was the enemy.
Don’t.Don’t think about that now, Lily.
A marshal’s hand on my arm caught me off-guard, and he slowly led me into the emergency car.I watched Henri get into a separate one, the marshals fawning over him as he crawled into the back.
The drive to the paddock felt like a lifetime.My knee ached, my ribs throbbed, and the smell of smoke clung to the back of my throat.Owning the first major crash of the season wasn’t exactly how I’d planned to start out my three-year Rennen contract.
The moment I walked into the garage, the atmosphere shifted.Conversations hushed and mechanics stared as I walked through.Every pair of eyes seemed to carry the same question.
Did Lily Blackwood crash into Henri Dubois on purpose?
Honestly, the suspicion on their faces felt almost worse than Henri’s accusation.
Andy, my physio, burst through the crowd, crashing into me.His arms locked around my shoulders, solid and steady.For a moment I let myself sink into him—into the comforting hold that had followed me to countless different circuits every season.Into the one person who’d unpack my favorite tea in every unfamiliar hotel room, who’d remember which side of the treatment table I preferred, who’d learned exactly how long to let silence sit before cracking a joke.
When we separated, I yanked off my helmet, wiping a tear that had formed in my eyes.
“You all right?”His green eyes bore into me with an intense, searching look.His hands hovered near my shoulders, ready to steady me.
Was I?Now that was a loaded question.
“Well,” I said finally, “at least we know the safety features work.”My lips stretched into what felt more like a grimace than a smile.Andy’s face twitched with something between sympathy and discomfort.
Just as well.The joke had fallen flat, another casualty in what was quickly becoming the worst day of my racing career thus far.
Over Andy’s shoulder I spotted Felix, tall and composed, with a dark suit pressed to perfection.The man who’d taken a chance on me, convinced the Rennen board that I was worth the investment, and promised me opportunity.
The man who now had to explain to sponsors and the board why his new driver had just caused the biggest crash of the season.
He wasn’t glaring or frowning.Instead, he just watched me with that steady, measured gaze of his.The kind of look that could peel back excuses without a single word.
Somehow, I’d managed to get myself a team principal who smiled less than my last one at Valkyrie F1.
Mark, my engineer, hovered just behind Felix, headset still crooked over one ear, curls frizzed like he’d been dragging his hands through them since the crash.The bags under his eyes had deepened since this morning, and the tight lines on his face told me I’d just made his already impossible day significantly worse.
“Lily.”Felix’s voice was calm, low,almostkind.“Are you hurt?”
“Ego’s more bruised than I am,” I said, forcing a small smile.
Felix didn’t reciprocate, but he let out a quick exhale that might have been relaxation.“Good.That’s what matters first.”
Mark, my engineer, stepped in, tablet already in his hands.“Telemetry showed a throttle spike and a steering imbalance right before impact.Can you walk me through what you felt?”
I hadn’t been out of the car more than ten minutes, and Mark was already into it.But that was his job, wasn’t it?That was what made him one of the best race engineers in the paddock.And considering I’d made a mess of things today, I didn’t have the heart to tell him to piss off and give me five minutes to breathe.
