Her hands found the sides of my face, fingers cold from the water, and she drew me closer.I leaned in, my hand finding the base of her jaw, as she deepened the kiss.
For a second, the world was nothing but her.The taste of her, the way she fit against me, the impossible relief from it.She shifted, climbing onto my lap in one fluid movement.The weight of her settled against me, solid and real, chasing away everything that had been haunting me.
I let my hands settle on her waist, fingers spreading across her sides, loving the way she moved against me.Her mouth moved against mine, slow and deliberate, like she was savoring every second.Like we had all the time in the world and nowhere else to be.
Which wasn’t true.Not for either of us.But for this moment, I let myself pretend it was.
Her fingers tangled in my hair, tugging slightly, and I couldn’t stop the sound that escaped me.She smiled against my mouth—that smug, satisfied smile that usually annoyed me but now just made me want to kiss her harder.
A loud buzz cut in between us, making us both jump.
Lily flinched, breath still uneven, eyes slightly dazed.My hands were still on her waist, hers tangled in the fabric of my shirt.For a heartbeat, neither of us moved.
Then I looked down.Her phone had lit up, vibrating against the wooden coffee table.
Ollie’s name appeared.
Something inside me went cold.Reality came crashing back on top of me.His name was there, ringing, because he was the one who could be with her.Not me.
Lily hesitated, then she turned off the ringer with a flick of her thumb.She looked back at me, lips still swollen, eyes searching my face, like maybe she could pull us back to where we were a second ago.Her hands returned to my chest, fingers sliding toward the buttons of my shirt, and for a heartbeat I wanted to let her—wanted to forget about Ollie and the teams and every complication that made this a catastrophically bad idea.
But I couldn’t.I’d said no to Lily last year for a reason, and those reasons very much still existed.I couldn’t give her a proper relationship, and seeing Ollie’s number pop up on her cell phone had reminded me of that.She’d just won Monaco, and I couldn’t even be out celebrating with her without it causing a PR storm.
All I could offer was stolen moments and complications.
“You should go.”The words came out as if I’d just swallowed sand, difficult and rough.
She blinked, pulling back slightly.The heat between us evaporated, replaced by something brittle.“Henri—”
“No, really.”I carefully moved her off my lap, standing up and putting necessary distance between us.I couldn’t think with her this close; couldn’t remember all the reasons this was impossible.Our team principals, her contract, the championship battle—nothing had changed between us.
“Ollie’s waiting.”
The silence that followed was excruciating.She stared at me for a long moment, something unreadable crossing her face.Not anger.Worse: resignation.Like she’d expected this exact outcome and hated being right.
“Right.”Her voice came out flat, empty of the fire I was used to hearing.She slid off the couch, movements careful, measured.She was trying very hard not to let me see how much this hurt.She grabbed her jacket off the chair, taking her time with it, and I wondered if she was waiting for me to take it back, to tell her to stay.But I didn’t.
“This was a mistake,” she said quietly, not looking at me as she shrugged into her jacket.
“Lily—”
“No, it’s okay.”She finally met my eye, and the careful blankness in her expression made my chest ache.She moved toward the door, pausing with her hand on the handle.“Good luck in Austria,” she said, her voice professionally neutral, like we were nothing more than competitors exchanging pleasantries in the paddock.
The room felt colder once Lily had left, the echoes of our conversation—the kiss—lingering.I stared at the closed door, the empty space a stark reminder of everything I couldn’t have.My heartbeat finally slowed, returning to normal, but I knew I wouldn’t forget what had just happened, or how easily we’d slipped back into trouble.
Chapter Fourteen
Lily
The bulbs around the vanity were so bright I felt like I was in an interrogation cell rather than a dressing room.I squinted at my reflection, watching my makeup artist apply what had to be the third layer of foundation, and wondered if there was enough concealer in the world to hide the exhaustion carved into my face.
I’d barely slept since Monaco.My mind bounced between what had now become several threatening messages, my podium, and Henri’s lips on mine before he’d unceremoniously kicked me out.
Visiting Henri’s room had been a massive mistake.If I’d stayed, we probably would have ended up in bed together, and then I’d just be back where I was in Las Vegas.With the championship battle being so tense between us, neither of us had time for a relationship with the other.Even if it had felt wrong when he’d said that exact sentiment in Las Vegas, he wasn’t wrong.And I couldn’t fault Henri for that, even if a small piece of my heart kept forgetting when I was with him.
Starting now, I needed to stay soundly away from Henri.
Mum materialized in the mirror’s reflection.Blue suit without a single wrinkle, phone clutched in her hands like a weapon, and an expression that told me everything I needed to know about her current mood.
