“I should get going.”He was already moving toward his shoes by the door, his jacket draped over a chair.“Need to prepare for next week’s Grand Prix.”
Confusion twisted in my chest.“Wait, what?No, come on.Stay.Have breakfast with me.We can celebrate!”
“I can’t.”He wouldn’t look at me as he pulled on his shoes.
“What do you mean?Stay and have breakfast with me.I want to celebrate with you, and maybe we can talk about last night?”
He finally turned to me then, and the worry in his eyes made my heart clench.They held something gentle but resolute, with a small tint of grief.
“Look, Lily, last night was great,” he said softly.Not unkindly, but with a finality that made my stomach drop.“Reallygreat, but there’s nothing to discuss.”
“Henri—” He didn’t mean this.Three years of stolen glances and small touches could not amount to a one-night stand.
Why is he running?
“I’m not looking for a relationship,” he said, the words careful and deliberate.“I thought you knew that.We both need to focus on racing now.You especially.”He gave me a small, sad smile.“My priority is winning next year, and starting a new relationship now?It’s just too much.”
“That’s bullshit,” I said, my voice small.“One night, and you’re just… done?You got your fill?”There was no ignoring the deepening hurt ringing in my chest.“We finally give in to three years of wanting each other, and now you’regood?”
“It’s not like that.”He ran a hand through his wavy, chestnut-colored hair.
“It certainly sounds like that,” I protested.
“I need to focus on the championship next year.On winning.”He shook his head.“There can’t be any distractions.”
“Henri, are you scared?Because we can—”
“I’m not scared, Lily.”His voice was firm.“This is just what’s best for both of us.”
I wanted to argue, to tell him he was being a coward, that last night clearly meant something and he knew it, that three years of desire didn’t just evaporate because things got difficult.But what was the point?He’d already made up his mind.
“Fine.”I wrapped my arms around myself.
He moved toward the door, still not meeting my eye.He cupped my face gently and pressed a kiss to my forehead.Then my cheek.It was soft and achingly tender, and somehow that made it worse.
“I’m glad I got to celebrate with you last night.I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished,” he said quietly.“You’re going to be World Champion, Lily.I know it.”
And then he was gone.
I stood in the middle of the suite, listening to the door click shut.
My phone sat on the coffee table where I’d left it after hanging up on my mother.I stared at it for a long moment, then I picked it up and opened my messages.
I’ll sign it, I typed to my mother.I hit send before I could change my mind.
My phone buzzed with my mother’s response.
Mum:
Good girl.This is the right choice.I’m so proud of you.
Only time would tell if this would come back to haunt me.
Chapter One
Lily
Leaving Valkyrie F1 might have been the biggest mistake of my career.
