This was why she needed to go as my manager.Every pre-race conversation got twisted into some excavation of my failures, every pep talk laced with poison.And the pattern became impossible to ignore: she’d hollow me out then build me back up on her terms, until I couldn’t tell whether my confidence belonged to me or was something she loaned me to repossess at will.
My mother’s perfectly composed face cracked just slightly, revealing something I couldn’t quite name.I’d never seen Victoria Blackwood look stunned.But just like today, there was a first time for everything.A first time for Victoria, and a first time for me, when I would stand on Silverstone’s podium in first place.
“I need you to leave,” I said, quieter now but firm.“I need to focus, and I can’t do that with you here.”
For a moment, I thought she might argue.But she didn’t.For once in her life, my mother saw sense.
“Good luck, then.”The room felt considerably calmer the moment the door clicked shut behind her.
I exhaled slowly, letting every piece of tension I felt when she walked into a room with me disappear.On the TV, I could see the Silverstone crowds already gathering, a sea of British flags and team colors.My home race.My pole position.My chance to prove to myself exactly what I was capable of.
Mark appeared in my doorway, his headset already settled over his neck.
“Ready?”he asked simply.
I grabbed my helmet, running my thumb over the smooth surface, as I looked down at the design on it.Lillies had been painted all over it, along with photos of my early karting days.A specially designed helmet for a special race.A little piece of me, to remind me I could do this.
“Ready.”
The formation lap felt different from pole position at Silverstone: a position I’d never held here.It felt like I owned the place—which, considering half the fans were wearing my shirt, it looked like I did.
“Radio check, Lily.”Mark’s voice crackled through my earpiece.
“Loud and clear.”
“Weather’s holding, and the track temperature’s optimal.Remember, it’s a long race.Manage those tires, especially through those turns.”
The formation lap brought us around to the grid slots.I rolled the Rennen car into position at the front, the tarmac still bearing faint rubber marks from earlier sessions.Through my mirrors, I watched the field settle into place, all behind me.
This was it.Everything I’d worked for was ahead of me.
The red lights illuminated one by one.Five lights.
And then none.
I nailed the start, wheels gripping perfectly as the Rennen car launched forward.Behind me, the field surged, but I was already pulling away, claiming the racing line into Turn 1.The crowd’s roar was so loud I could almost hear it over the engine.
“Good start, Lily.P1.Henri’s close behind, two-tenths back.”
Good, I thought.I like a fight.Will make this win even more satisfying.
The first few laps settled into a rhythm.Every time I glanced at my mirrors, there was his distinctive Hermes livery, never quite close enough to attack, but never far enough away to ignore.He was studying me, learning my movements, waiting for the moment when I’d make a mistake.Like I had done in Monaco.
Lap twenty-seven, I pulled off the track so my crew could change my tires.They had me back out in under three seconds, and I rejoined the race still ahead of Henri.
But only just.He closed the gap somehow.
The next several laps became a chess match at two hundred miles an hour.Henri tried everything to get past—darting to one side, then the other, trying to bait me into a mistake.But I knew him.I’d studied the way he raced, the way he threw himself into every corner like he had something to prove.
More importantly, I trusted myself enough to hold my ground.
By lap thirty-five, he was right on me.I could feel him there even before I saw him—that prickle of awareness that came from knowing someone was inches away at speeds that could kill you both.
We emerged onto the straight, side by side.
He pulled alongside again at the next corner.It was a proper battle, the kind of racing that reminded me why I’d sacrificed everything for this sport.
But then he had the better position, and I could either back off or risk us colliding.For a heartbeat, Miami flashed through my mind.The sickening crunch, the terror of watching Henri’s car flip, the weight of knowing I’d caused it.
