‘It’s not as easy as that,’ Clara says. ‘It wouldn’t be fair on Nora. He’s good for her.’ A pause. ‘And it’s been nice, having him around. Even as a friend.’
‘Even as a friend,’ Maisie repeats, in a mock-sexy drawl. ‘You want him!’
‘Trust me, it couldn’t be further from my mind,’ Clara says. She lowers her voice to a near-whisper. ‘I haven’t done it since, you know…’
‘What?!’ Maisie says, and her voice is loud enough to echo around the entire venue. ‘SinceNora?’ She goes quiet. ‘That’s insane.’
‘Where would I have found the time?’ Clara says, exasperated. ‘Or a willing participant?’ A pause. ‘Not everyone has a rota.’
It’s Maisie’s turn to sound embarrassed. ‘We don’t have a rota.’
‘You’re married to Nimesh,’ Clara says. ‘You definitely have a rota.’
Nimesh’s head appears around the doorway. ‘All OK in here?’
They tell him, a little too enthusiastically, that they’re fine. After he’s retreated in confusion, Clara lowers her voice.
‘OK,’ she says. ‘If I tell you something, you have to promise not to laugh at me.’
Maisie makes no such promise. ‘Go on.’
‘I had a dream about him.’
‘A sex dream?!’
The builder almost fumbles the pipe. Clara hides her face, groans.
‘That means something,’ Maisie says, leaning in close. ‘It means you want him.’
Clara pushes her away, but doesn’t protest. ‘What can I say?’ It seems that she is still searching for the words as she and Maisie head back to the main room. ‘With him, it was better than anyone.’
nora, 4
Nora has all the answers, now. She knows things, notices things. She can tell the difference between a costume and the person underneath it. She can understand when someone is playing pretend.
She’s in her garden, now, playing pretend with Finn. Nora’s house is tall and the garden is long, so there’s lots of space, although she prefers it at Finn’s because Finn has lots of dogs. Finn’s dad doesn’t eat meat, so Smudge is grilling veggie burgers on the barbecue, his big tummy out for all to see. Seb is puffing on his vape.
‘Those things will kill you,’ Nimesh says.
Seb blows out smoke. ‘Smudge used to smoke far stronger, and he’s still here.’
Everyone laughs at this, and Nora laughs too, though when she asks why they’re laughing, Seb winks and says it’s a secret. Nora has a secret too, and the secret is to do with Seb. She’d sussed it one day, when her mum was hot and sweating and having an important conversation on the phone. Nora and Seb were watching from across the patio. Nora’s mum kept tucking her hair behind her ear over and over again with nervous fingers.
‘She’s always done that,’ Seb had said. Nora had noticed his smile.
Nora doesn’t worry any more. When Nora and Seb ‘hang out’, she knows that her mother will always come back, and that Seb will be here until she returns. She also knows that her mum is at her happiest when Seb is around. So, she tells her mum all the nice things Seb says about her. And she tells Seb all the nice things her mum says about him, the things she makes Nora swear that she will not tell Seb. She asks why Seb can’t just live with them, seeing as it would make it soooooooo much easier when he has to come to pick her up. And when he does come to pick her up, she likes to leave them together in the same room for a long time, saying I really, really need a wee, then taking ages in the toilet.
Nora knows things. And she knows that all they need is a little push.
Here in the garden, the burgers are ready, and Seb is carrying the heavy platter over to the table, and Nora’s mum is looking at Seb’s big arms and her face is doing something Nora has never seen it do. Nora brings her a cold glass of water, and Finn’s mum laughs so much that she almost drops Baby Priya out of her lap. When Baby Priya is down for a nap, they all heap their plates, and Nora and Finn sit at the big table with the grown-ups.
Nora notices things. Specifically, she notices two things.
One: Finn and Priya’s mum quietly telling Finn and Priya’s dad that this is perfect, that this is almost like it always was.
Two: Seb taking her mum’s hand beneath the table, aseveryone is talking, as easily as breathing. Her mum’s face, at first surprised, then smiling, not letting go.
Nora wants this to continue, so she pretends not to notice. She wonders if everyone else is pretending not to notice, too.
