Jane retrieved it from her room and exited the house, stepping briskly along the footpath, looking neither left nor right.
What should she do?Marry to save her family, or hold on to her principles?
Were her principles doing her any good, or had they made this whole situation worse because they marked her as outside the social norm and made her, in people’s minds, a potential threat to the order of society?She paced onward.
Their financial situation was dire.Her sister had been forced into the role of governess, and her twelve-year-old brother was at sea with his life at risk from the elements.All of this was due to her beliefs, which made it impossible to convince families to support their school as a suitable educational institution.
But it was more than that.To save her family, she would have to become a man’s property.Could she live like that?The bitter northerly wind whipped her skirts around her legs.Would it be any worse than living in poverty?If she couldn’t find work when Katherine was grown up, what alternative employment then would be available to her?Her pamphlet writing brought in precious little money.She may have worse choices to make then, when she was much older and no one wanted to marry her.Lord Dalton would not offer again.
Would her sisters be able to find husbands if they had no dowries?She may be condemning them to hang from the rope of her principles—and they were not even their beliefs.That would be bitter to live with indeed in her old age.
Her thoughts turned to the Marquess of Dalton.Could she live with him?He was certainly a good-looking man.She had had no difficulty responding to his kisses.Even in the bitter cold, her cheeks blushed warm as she thought back to that scene many weeks ago.She cooled her face with her bare hands.
Her steps slowed.Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to lie with him.
No, it wouldn’t.In fact, it was something she had dreamed of in the weeks since their first passionate embrace.
Was she prepared to live with, or die from, the consequences?How many children would she have to bear?It was a woman’s duty to accept as many children as were sent to her.She hoped it would not be too many.
At least as Dalton’s wife there would be no shortage of servants and nursemaids to assist her.Would he be a good father?Would he be a good husband?Would he be a good lover?These were questions that only the future could answer.
She hoped he was all three.
So, it seemed she had made her decision...she would accept him.God help her.
Jane stopped walking and looked around her.She was almost at Cavendish Square.She had walked a long way in what seemed to be a short time.Mrs.Courtice’s house was a few doors away.She couldn’t be so close and not visit her.
Within minutes, Jane was escorted up to the drawing room and into her old friend’s arms.“Jane, Jane, how lovely to see you again.You look flushed despite the weather, my dear.Are you keeping well or coming down with a fever?”Mrs.Courtice looked concerned.
“Dear Mrs.Courtice, I am fine.I have so much to tell you.”
“Well, take a seat and tell me everything.”
Jane sat quickly.“I think I am going to marry the Marquess of Dalton.”
Mrs.Courtice didn’t hide her surprise—her mouth gaped.“Why?How did this come about?”
“He asked me, and I have no other means of support for my family.My name has been sullied and I have failed to find any more pupils in the weeks since we moved.I’m at the end of the road, Mrs.Courtice.I have paid all our creditors but there is no money for my sisters’ dowries and no money for anything but subsistence living.That is not how I wish to care for my siblings.I promised our parents to do my very best for my brothers and sisters.I have done so until now, and this is the one way I can continue to do so.Doors will open for my sisters so they may meet eligible men who won’t pass them by because they bring nothing but themselves to a marriage.”
“It is a harsh world in which we live, for certain,” Mrs.Courtice said.“But is there no other way?”
“I have thought and thought and tried all the means that I have, but am unable to find another answer.”
“But how did this proposal come about?”
“Lady Elizabeth told her brother that we were having financial difficulties now that the school has closed, and he came to make the offer this morning.”
“But had you no inkling of his interest in you beforehand?”
Jane flushed again.“Well, yes, months ago he did lead me to believe that he was interested in me.He even proposed, but I refused him then and told him I would not see him again.”
“But now you are to marry a man you previously refused.Do you think that wise?If you did not love and respect him enough then, perhaps you never will?That is a very bad beginning to a marriage for life, my dear.”
“I see no other answer, Mrs.Courtice.Besides, I believe Lord Dalton is a good man.I am hopeful that I will learn to love him.He has promised that if either of us is unwilling to marry that he will pay me a sum of money that will be sufficient for a comfortable life.That seems very fair.”
“Indeed, it is quite extraordinary,” Mrs.Courtice agreed.“It would be difficult for you to take such money though, wouldn’t it, Jane?”
“Yes, it would.It would seem like charity, but if I feel that I must, that I couldn’t live with him, then I shall.”Jane spoke firmly.
