“And is there?”
Adrian scoffed. “In my experience, you are as shallow as a puddle.”
Rupert laughed at the joke, a rare thing, as Adrian was not known to make jokes. In fact, Rupert might have been the only man living who had ever seen Adrian do such a thing.
Why does he persist with me…Adrian eyed his friend in wonder.Most would have given up by now. It is not as if I bring anything to this friendship.
As depressing as it was to admit, Adrian had always felt a sense of gratefulness toward his friend for not cutting him off as so many others had done. Oh sure, Adrian had tried to force it a dozen times or more, but Rupert always came back.
It was a small thing, but it reminded Adrian that he wasn’t so alone in this world. He liked to pretend that he was, just as he liked to pretend that was what he wanted. But deep down in places he rarely visited, he was lonely, and the thought of dying so that nobody would care at all terrified him.
“Another…” Rupert groaned as he stood to his feet. “Before you leave.”
“There is no rush.”
Rupert shook his head as he crossed the drawing room where his liquor cabinet stood ready and waiting. There, he poured himself a brandy, took a sip, and then topped it off.
“Perhaps I want you to leave,” Rupert said. “Perhaps I want a night to myself.”
“I have no doubt that you do.”
“Oh, perhaps…” Rupert crossed the room and as he did, he studied Adrian with narrowed eyes. “… I am wondering why you are here with me rather than home with your dear wife. It is your wedding night, you know? Traditionally, such an evening should be spent with your wife and not your only friend.”
Adrian and Rupert’s chairs were pulled before the roaring flames of the hearth. It was early in the evening, the room was dark save for the light of the fire, and Adrian looked into those flames as if for answers.
As he did, his stomach twisted with what he could only assume to be guilt. Rupert was correct and Adrian ought to have been home with Ophelia. Even if they were not set to engage in their marital duties, it was the right thing to do.
“Believe me when I tell you that she does not want me there,” Adrian said eventually as he took a final sip of his drink, emptying the glass. “She is better off alone.”
Rupert scoffed as he sat back down. “Now, that is a lie.”
“It is not.”
“I know this marriage is a strange one, Adrian. Just as I know that you are not exactly a romantic in any sense of the word. From the sounds of it too, your wife does not expect such things. Lucky that…” He grinned wickedly. “For if she did, she would be left resoundingly disappointed.”
“Your point?” Adrian grumbled.
“My point is that you are married now and that means something. You said yourself that this is a marriage of convenience, which means that it must be convenient for both of you. You are set to spend the rest of your lives together and you cannot do that if you avoid the other like poison.”
“I am not avoiding her,” Adrian said, unable to look at his friend for fear that the truth might be seen in his eyes. “I am just… giving her space.”
“Space for what?”
“Space from me,” he said. “Think of it as a wedding gift.”
Rupert sighed as he made himself comfortable. “What do you want, Vermont? Really? Once you find the baby’s father. Once this marriage settles into its rhythms. What is it that you, Duke Vermont, want? And not just in life but from your wife?”
“I told you already. I want peace and quiet. To avoid becoming the center of a scandal.”
“That is not an answer but an outcome. Tell me…” He leaned forward and fixed Adrian in a determined gaze; the flames reflected in his friend’s eyes as if lit by fire. “Where do you see this marriage going?”
It was a fair question but not one that Adrian had an answer to.
On the surface, he knew very well what he should have wanted. This marriage was forced onto him, and he was determined not to succumb to any notions of what most might perceive as duty and societal expectations, as if he needed to fall in love with his wife and give her a happy life.
Why should she be happy when I have not once in my life known such a thing?
His duty was to help his wife avoid being caught in a scandal, and he had done that. Now that they were both married, it mattered little what happened next, so long as they did nothing to draw attention. If he had it his way, Adrian would go back to living his life as he had done. Alone. Forgotten. Treated as if he did not exist…
