“Overruled.” Judge Smith said.
“The victim is not on trial here, Your Honor!”
“Overruled. You may answer the question.”
I cleared my throat. “No,” I said. “It did not.”
“No further questions.”
The judge said I could step down. I came off the stand and walked the long aisle toward the doors, past Malik's mother, who wouldn't look at me, and I didn't blame her. I'd just told a room full of strangers that her son wasn't who she'd buried.
I should have felt cruel. I didn't. I feltdone.
Nobody deserves to die the way Malik died. That much is true. But a man builds his own legacy with how he lives, and Malik had built his in the dark with the lies stacked under a life everyone in that community had admired. He'd looked the part and played it well enough that people grieved a man who never existed. The cost of living like that wasn't just his to pay. It was Micah's. My son would grow up with the history of a father he could never point to and sayI want to be like him.That was the part that hurt me.
But I'd stopped mourning the rest of it a long time ago. My marriage and the years I'd shrunk myself to fit it. As I walked out of the courtroom with my heels too loud on the floor, it finally felt finished. That chapter of my life closed behind me with the courtroom door.
Julian was waiting for me on the other side of it.
He didn't say anything at first. He just opened his arms, and I walked into them, and he folded me in and put his mouth against the top of my head, me sagging into the warmth of him.
“I know that wasn't easy,” he said, into my hair. “You handled it extremely well. I'm proud of you.”
“I'm just glad it's over,” I said muffled against his chest.
“It's over. How you feeling?”
“Hollowed out. But lighter, if that makes sense.”
“It does.”
We stared at each other with three weeks of unsaid sitting. “We've got a lot to talk about,” I said.
“Yes, we do.”
“Alyssa!” My mother's voice rang up the hall, my sisters with her. She reached me and took my face in both hands. “You did good, baby.”
She and my sisters gave me hugs as Julian stepped back and watched. My mother looked past me at Julian, warmly. “We're all going to get something to eat. Julian, come too.”
“I'll let you have your family time, Ms. Carter.” He squeezed my hand once. “Y'all go on.”
As we all turned toward the elevators, Julian leaned in close. “I'mstaying at The George,” he said. “Come by tonight. I don't care how late. Just us.”
“Okay,” I said. “Tonight.”
We went backto my mother's after. Ma, my three sisters, and me. For a while nobody said much. I sat at the table where I'd once told my mother I was miserable in my marriage. The table has heard a lot.
“That Julian is a good man,” Ma said finally, setting a cup in front of me. “Flying all the way up here. You hold on to that one, Alyssa.”
Jada set her cup down and huffed. “What's that supposed to mean, Ma?”
“Jada.” I shook my head at her. Not worth it. I'd planned to nod at Ma's advice and let it slide off, the way I always did.
“No, Lyss.” Jada looked around at the three of us. “That man flew up here. For Alyssa. Nobody asked him to. And the first thing out of your mouth when she walks in is hold on to him. Like she's the only one responsible for the holding.”
“Sheshouldhold on to him,” Ma said. “What's wrong with that?”
Tamika set her own cup down. “You told her the same thing about Malik.”
