Then she laughed.
The sound came from behind me, and it wasn't a light social laugh. It was a loud and sudden, up-from-her-diaphragm laugh, with no manners on it. It carried over the band and every other voice in the room. My head turned.
There she was, head tipped back, a hand on her chest, eyes shut, whatever her sister said to her leaving her completely undone. Shoulders shaking, teeth and all, not a piece of guard on her. The people around her leaned toward her like she was the warm part of the room.
Then she opened her eyes and caught me. She didn't look away, and neither did I. She smiled at me, and I nodded, before one of her sisters pulled her back into the conversation.
There was that feeling again. I sat with it for a moment, trying to pinpoint what it was. Interest? Any man would find a bold and intelligent woman interesting, that's nothing new. Attraction? Yes she was beautiful, I have eyes, that's nothing either. It was something past both of those and I didn't have the word for it. I kept searching for one and coming back empty, which never happened to me. I could read a room in ten seconds. I couldn't read this.
What I did know was that multiple times now I'd decided to stop looking at her, and every time I'd looked anyway.
It bothered me how much I couldn't help it.
4/
look out for her
alyssa
It had beentwo weeks since Micah and I had loaded my car and pointed it South. We were staying at Simone and Raschad's place while I house-hunted, registered Micah for school, and learned the lay of the land of Lennox Falls.
It was Sunday, which I was learning meant Sunday dinner, apparently a standing Wade family appointment that rotated among different homes. Today was Simone's day to host, which meant a whole house full of Wades.
Music played low while Zaria got passed from hip to hip between Simone, Taryn, their Aunt Lorraine, and me as we worked in the kitchen. Micah and Zhaire had been chasing each other through the house for hours and were not showing any sign of slowing. Outside the men were grilling and hanging out.
“Alyssa, do me a favor.” Simone handed me a sheet pan. “Go see if any of the meat's ready. They out there talking instead of cooking.”
“Sure.” I took the pan and went out the sliding doors, and smoke and laughter flooded in. Tre was clowning Zion, Zion was clowning Tre, Raschad was laughing at both of them, while their Uncle Reggie shook his head, and over at the grill was Julian.
He was wearing a black tee and black joggers. He had the kind of build a man only kept in his thirties if he was deliberate about maintaining it. Tall with broad shoulders and chest, and leaner through the waist. His beard was lined up sharp and his hair was fresh in a low fade with slight waves. He had the tongs in one hand, his rich brown forearms shining and flexing as he flipped the meat over.
His eyes found me. “Ms. Carter.”
“Mr. Suit and Tie,” I said, just to mess with him. “No tie today,though. I'm almost disappointed.”
One corner of his mouth twitched. For Julian, I had realized that twitch was basically a belly laugh. He looked at me. Or really, at my hair.
“You change your hair often,” he said offhandedly.
I raised my eyebrows. “You noticed?”
“Yes.”
His no-nonsense tone made me stand a little straighter. I brushed a braid over my shoulder. “Well, getting my hair done is one thing I don’t compromise on anymore.”
He gave me a nod. “Looks nice.”
“Thank you,” I said, grateful to God for my brown skin, which meant he couldn’t tell a simple two-word compliment made me blush.
Dinner was loud. Plates passing, kids shouting, the men arguing about sports. Every now and then I felt Julian's eyes. Not all over me, but like he was clocking me. I still felt bad about how I’d acted at football practice that time, and although I had apologized, I wondered if he still felt some kind of way about it.
After we ate, the house exhaled. The kids migrated to the game console. Zion started a dominoes game and he, Raschad, and Tre were talking trash.I stepped out to the back steps with a glass of water and enjoyed the quiet.
“Too much for you?” Julian’s deep voice from behind startled me.
“I like the noise,” I said, not turning around. “Means people are living.”
He came down the steps and stood beside me, with a considerate distance that made me more aware of him.
