“Where are we?” My breath puffed out in a cloud. It was cooler up here, and I rubbed my arms to stave off the chill.
Levi took my hand and led me forward.
“It’s one of my favorite places in the whole world,” he said. “You’ll see.”
The trees grew even sparser, replaced by thin vegetation that were mostly bare from winter. Soon, everything cleared out to reveal a hard stone outcropping that jutted out over the valley below. I gasped at the sight of it. Hundreds of feet below, I could see the faint outline of the Hidden Grove tucked into the forest. A good distance beyond, the forest ended, replaced by the gridwork of streets in Idlewild. Down there, the two seemed far apart, but at this vantage point, the two looked remarkably close.
“Uh, this place means a lot to me,” Levi said.
“Really?” I turned to look at him, taken aback by the strange expression on his face. It was almost…expectant.
“Yes.” He lowered his head and absently kicked a rock. “I used to bring Naphele up here.”
“Oh.” I felt a sudden, inexplicable surge of jealousy.
If Levi noticed the change in my tone, he didn’t show it. Instead, he led me out to the middle of the rock outcropping and helped me sit down.
“She loved coming here. She used to say looking down on the world like this helped her think clearly,” Levi explained.
“Is that why you brought me up here?” I said, unable to tamp down my irritation. “To talk about her?”
I cursed myself for asking the question, but there was no getting away from it. I worried that he was comparing me to her.
“What? No, that’s not… I didn’t mean it that way?—”
“It’s really beautiful,” I interrupted, not wanting to make it even more awkward. “A little scary, though. I’m not a huge fan of heights.”
“You’re scared of…” he trailed off, disappointment flashing across his face. “You don’t like it up here?”
I got the impression he’d been hoping for a different response. It was breathtaking, but I kept glancing at the edges of the outcropping, imagining myself making a wrong move andtumbling out into space, until my body shattered on the ground below.
“It’s a nice spot, but it’s not a place where I’d hang out. But I would love to come back and get some pictures.”
Levi looked like I’d told him his dog had died. He looked from me out over the valley below, then back again, looking even more confused than before.
“Uh…I’m sorry, I guess. I should have asked. I didn’t know you were afraid of heights.”
“It’s not a phobia,” I said quickly. “I don’t mind flying in a plane or anything, but this makes me a bit nervous.”
“Sure, I get it.” He glanced out across the valley, running his tongue over his lower lip. “We should head back. The sun’s setting, and dinner is gonna start soon.”
He stood abruptly and held out his hand. I stared at his palm for a few seconds, again feeling like I’d done something wrong. I wanted to say more, to ask why he seemed so despondent, but instead I took his hand and let him help me up. He shifted again, and I climbed onto his back. The trip back down the mountain was much more subdued than the trip up. I spent the entire time trying to figure out what I’d done wrong. Or had I simply disappointed Levi because of how I’d reacted to one of his favorite places? Either way, I was sinking into a bit of a depressive mood.
“I’m sorry,” I said after he’d shifted back at the edge of the woods near Hidden Grove.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s my own issues. I have a lot to deal with right now. Really, I should apologize for cutting things short.”
His words sounded sincere, but I wasn’t sure Itrulybelieved them, not based on the look in his eyes.
“All right,” I said, leaning forward to kiss him.
For half a second, I worried that he’d turn aside and prevent me from kissing him, but to my relief, he didn’t. When his lips met mine, there was passion in it, desire, but also hesitation. And it made me feel worse. I was sure I’d upset him or disappointed him in some way I didn’t understand.
“I guess I’ll go get ready for dinner,” I said.
He gave me a wan smile. “Sounds good.”
Turning, I departed, trying to figure out why things had gotten weird fast. Was this what a relationship was like? If so, it was way more exhausting than I ever expected.
