“Why did you stay?” I said. “Here, I mean. In the forest near your old pack. Didn’t that make the pain worse?”
Levi shrugged. “It was home. It always has been.” He opened his mouth to say something else, then shook his head. He gestured vaguely at the open door. “I didn’t want to leave everything I knew behind. I lived in the woods as a wolf for a few decades, then decided it would be nice to have a home when I was in my human form. I built this cabin for myself, and then I started finding folks in the woods. Rejects, people running from their packs for one reason or another, and I brought them here, and slowly it grew. I guess my reputation did as well.”
He was right about that. Every pack within a hundred miles knew all about Leviathan Cross, the Demon Wolf, the ageless shifter who lurked in the darkest recesses of the wilderness, but no one had ever suspected what was really going on deep in the forest. Instead of some boogeyman who’d snatch unwary children and women, he’d surrounded himself with broken and lost people and become a pack alpha again.
Despite all he’d lost, he’d formed his own community and offered safety and comfort.
“I know what it’s like,” I said at last. “Not being wanted. Nothing as bad as what you went through, but I get it.” Hearing his story made me feel closer to him.
Levi smirked, letting out a low chuckle. “I still remember the way you looked all those years ago in the woods. All alone and crying.” His smile faltered. “Why do you want to be with him?”
“What?” I blinked, confused by the change of subject.
“You know.” He sighed. “Anders. He’s the reason you were crying back then. He’s the reason you almost died in the woods that day I found you. He’s picked on you and shunned you for most of your life.”
“My grandparents, the store?—”
“Your friends, all that, yeah, yeah,” he said. “Look me in the eye and tell me you want him.”
My gaze locked on his, and all the bullshit fell away. All my plans and the stories I told myself, the half-assed assumptions and hopes. Deep down, no matter what happened here, whether I learned to shift or not, I would never want Anders. Not in a hundred years. I wanted Levi.
He must have seen something in my eyes, because for the first time since I walked in, there was something other than sadness in his eyes. Hope. Happiness. A grin spread across his lips.
“Why don’t you come back tonight?” he said. “I’ve got to meet up with Rainier about some stuff in ten minutes, but… I’dreallylike to see you tonight. Is that okay?”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah. I can come by after dinner.”
“I’d like that a lot,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.
When I left, butterflies swirled in my stomach, and I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. Linnea obviously noticed it when I got back to the kitchen.
“Looks like things went well?” she said as she wiped down the cutting board she’d been using.
“You could say that,” I said.
I spent the rest of the day waiting for the sun to set. I was eager to see Levi again, eager to have a night with him now that I truly understood what I wanted.
24
LEVIATHAN
Iwatched June walk back to the kitchen. Once she was inside, I turned back to the painting of Naphele.
“I miss you,” I said. “I wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you, ask for your advice.”
What I wanted to ask was whether she would approve of me being with June. I’d spent all these years trying to find a carbon copy of Naphele. My hopes and dreams had been to come across her reincarnation, and that she’d be exactly the same, but with a different face. That wasn’t the case. I had almost no doubt that JunewasNaphele’s reincarnation. June reminded me of her in some ways, but in others she was so different that it was hard to see the comparison. I also had that strange pull when I was near her. That subtle connection reminded me of the fated mate connection I’d felt when I met Naphele. Part of me was excited to build something new with June, but a deeper, more bitter part was hesitant and afraid of neglecting Naphele’s memory.
“This isn’t as easy as I always thought it would be,” I said. Naphele’s picture gazed back at me, silent and calm. Apparently, you could still be naïve about things when you were more than a hundred years old.
None of those thoughts dimmed my desire for June. I took the painting and stashed it back in my closet, handling it as delicately as always. When I closed the door, there was a finality about it that made me uneasy, but I hurried off to meet up with Rainier before the feeling could seep any deeper.
That evening,after dinner, I sat in my living room, alternating between sketching and reading a book by the low light of the fireplace and the lone lamp I had lit. When the knock came at the door, I nearly leapt to my feet in anticipation.
Opening the door, I found June outside, but a different June than I’d ever seen before. Rather than looking somewhat embarrassed or hesitant, she smiled at me and stepped in, gently brushing by me, grazing my chest with her arm. A new confidence surrounded her.
“Hey,” I said, closing the door.
“Hey.”
