Should I have allowed her to come? If I had, she wouldn’t have gone off looking so forlorn, and I wouldn’t have this pit in my chest where my heart was supposed to be.
Thrashing my head, I tossed those thoughts away. I couldn’t allow myself to be distracted from what I was doing. I’d made the right decision. If June had even a little more experience with fighting, I would have brought her, but the way things stood, it was too dangerous. I wouldn’t allow anything to happen to her, even if it cost me everything. It would be better to die alone with June safe than the alternative.
After the first hour, the energy and excitement wore away. The group slowed, breaking into smaller subgroups that traversed the mountainous forest terrain with more care than speed. Rainier approached and tried to catch my attention, but I kept my eyes glued to the path in front of me. My thoughts continued to drift toward June. I wondered how she was doing. Did her heart hurt like mine? Had she cried? Would she manage to lead the people to safety? So many unknowns. Worst of all, I kept seeing the heartbreak in her eyes. The way she drifted away from me emotionally, cutting me off as she compared herself to Naphele. This time it wasn’t my doing, but her own. I hated the fact that the only two women I’d ever loved were at odds, even though they were separated by an entire century. Whining, I sprinted ahead to get away from everyone.
As we settled down to rest and sleep deep in the woods, I isolated myself again, unable to stop thinking of June. The sadness in her eyes when she realized that she would be a liability on the battlefield tore at my heart. And the worry that by missing out on this she’d believe that she’d failed some sort of integral test wouldn’t leave my mind. When the others slept soundly, exhausted from a day of travel, I lay awake, staringin the direction of Hidden Grove, and wondering what she was doing.
The next morning, while our group ate a quick breakfast of whatever dried or packaged foods they’d brought along, Rainier came to find me.
“Hey, are you all right?” he asked, squatting down beside me. “You haven’t been yourself.”
“I’m fine,” I said, biting into my stick of beef jerky.
“It didn’t look like things were fine with you and June when we left. Do you want to talk about?—”
“If I wanted to talk about it, I would have saidso,” I snarled, leveling a glare at him.
He let out a huff and stood. “Fine. Be that way.”
Watching him stalk away, I was filled with self-loathing. Why had I treated him like that? Why was I so angry and upset? My weariness didn’t help. I hadn’t slept the night before, and exhaustion weighed heavily on me. But rather than face that, I simply gathered everyone and continued on our huge sweeping circle of the forest that would bring us to the Red Maw pack.
The others followed, but Rainier hung back with the other alphas and their mates, leaving me to my own devices. That was fine with me. It wasn’t like I could have a conversation in my wolf form anyway.
After ten hours of movement, the sun was creeping toward the horizon. From what I could tell from the surrounding area and landmarks, we would probably be in range to attack the Red Maw sometime early the next morning. We’d make camp and try to rest up before the final push the next day.
While I ran, the thought of rest and sleep made my body and mind yearn in a way I couldn’t recall. It wasn’t simply physical fatigue, but emotional as well. June’s face was still the only thing I could see when I closed my eyes.
It was during one of these forays into memory that I noticed the scent. I’d moved far ahead of the pack, nearly a hundred yards from the nearest member of my team, and this scent didn’t belong to any of them. I’d been replaying the last argument I’d had with June over in my head and had lost track of everything else. Why was I so far away? Why would I separate myself from them? Stupid.
Stopping where I was, I turned, sniffing the air, my hackles rising and panic filling me. So many.No.
Throwing my head back, I sucked in a breath to release a howl of warning, but before I could, a black wolf rushed from the trees to my right, slamming his head into my side. Instead of a howl, a rush of air burst from my lungs, and I tumbled, yelping in pain. As I rolled on the ground, trying to catch my breath, I heard the first howl, a deep, resonant call. A call to war, and it wasn’t from my people.
Dozens of wolves, all Red Maw, appeared like wraiths from the deepening shadow of the woods. Most rushed toward my approaching allies, but several ran to me. Still trying to suck in a breath, I clawed the ground, trying to right myself, but a sharp searing pain jolted through my side. A broken rib? Before I could do more than blink, wolves were on me, teeth snapping and biting, claws dragging at my fur and skin, drawing blood.
With a force of will, I finally lunged to my feet, snapping my jaws closed on my nearest attacker. My front teeth crashed together and tore off nearly the entirety of his nose. Blood spurted from his face, and he fell to the ground, thrashing and yowling in pain.
Beyond his cries, the cacophony of battle drifted to me through the trees. My people were in trouble. My friends. I turned to join, but I was stopped by the needle-sharp agony on my back leg. One of my assailants had his jaws clamped on my back foot, preventing me from running. Before I could attackhim, a shadow fell over me. A huge man in a black trucker cap and red hair strode forward.
“Some demon you are,” he snarled, kicking me with a heavy, steel-toed boot.
My world exploded into stars and swirling white. It was like being hit in the face with a sledgehammer. My head screamed in pain as I rolled down the hill away from them, picking up speed. I tumbled head over paws, the sounds of fighting growing dimmer as I went. Each time the ground connected with my body, an agonizing jolt of pain shot through me—my rib, my head, my rib, my head—like a nightmare that would never end.
Then, with bone-jarring finality, I slammed to a stop. Too hurt to howl, I shifted to my human form and curled in on myself, clutching my side with one hand and cradling my head with the other. I’d never felt such pain in my long life.
Rolling onto my back, I looked at what I’d landed on. An old fallen tree, but that wasn’t what sent a bolt of ice through my heart. It was how close I’d come to death. A few inches from where I’d crashed into the tree trunk, a huge, wickedly sharp branch stuck out like a spear. If I’d rolled three inches to the right, I’d have been impaled on it. I’d have died here in the forest. I would never have seen June again. The realization made me queasy.
From above me, the rustling and stumbling sounds of approaching feet told me the men had shifted and were descending the hill. I had seconds to get away, to run for my team and try to organize a counterattack. I tried to stand, but my head spun so much that I nearly blacked out. All I could do was claw at the ground and try to crawl away.
I managed to get a few feet before the men found me. Carlton Briggs, the Red Maw beta, squatted down beside me and took his black cap off. He rubbed a hand over his hair before he put the hat back on.
“You coming with us, big dog,” he said.
He nodded to the other men, and one stepped forward, hauling back a fist. The last thing I saw were his knuckles flying toward my face. And in that instant before darkness overcame me, the only thing I could think about was June.
88
JUNIPER
