72
JUNIPER
Outside, the cool air was like a slap in the face. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. It didn’t help. A squirming snake had nested in my stomach. I’d given up so much to be with Anders. I’d thought it was my chance to have a normal life, to stay in Idlewild and take care of my grandparents. Instead, it had ruined my life.
Putting a hand to my mouth, I stepped off the porch as a horrifying thought occurred to me. If Anders hadn’t found me and given me another option, would I have left Levi? He’d said Naphele’s name, yes, but if Anders and his offer weren’t at the back of my mind, would I have been so quick to leave? Would I have been more likely to talk it out with Levi?
I wanted to vomit, but instead, I shifted and ran into the forest. If I could have, I’d have run to the ocean. Putting hundreds and hundreds of miles between me and everything that had happened sounded like a great idea. How soon could I get there by running? A month? Two? But even if I did that, all of this would still be waiting for me. You couldn’t outrun your fate, and you definitely couldn’t outrun bad decisions.
I let my wolf take control, and we ran, legs pumping fast, scenery flashing by. We ran like that for what felt like overan hour. Instead of relaxing my mind, all I could do was stew on what an idiot I was. This wasnothow this was supposed to go. I should be wearing a gorgeous dress, smiling, dancing, and eating with my friends and family, not running away after finding my mate fucking someone else.
What did I do now? Would Anders banish me? Maybe not. He wouldn’t want news of his betrayal getting out. Then again, I couldn’t stay in the same town as him, could I?God, why was this happening to me?
Skidding to a stop, I threw my head back and released a droning mournful howl toward the blue sky. When I was done, I lowered my head and blinked in surprise at my location. Padding forward, I stepped out onto the stone outcropping of the overlook. My wolf had led me here without me even knowing it.
The forest spread out below, and I could make out the curls of smoke from Hidden Grove’s chimneys, and in the far distance, the crisscrossing paved roads of Idlewild. Sitting back on my haunches, I lost myself in the view. Before, this place had feltwrong, like it belonged to someone else. Now? Now, it felt like home. A pleasant, quiet spot to meditate on what I was going to do with my disaster of a life. Even though I felt peaceful here, Naphele was still casting a shadow over my life. How could someone so long gone still hold so much power over someone a hundred years later?
“Interesting spot to run off to.”
The sound of Levi’s voice should have startled me, but I’d been expecting him. I was sure he would have tracked from Anders’s house. Turning toward him, I gave him the closest thing to a grin a wolf’s mouth was capable of, then shifted.
“Hey,” I said.
We looked at each other for a drawn-out moment, neither of us able to verbalize what we wanted to say. A dam broke insideme, one built out of repressed emotions, hopes, and needs. Feelings flooded my mind, and I understood completely what I wanted.
“I came to make sure you were okay,” Levi said hesitantly. He took a single step back. “Do you want to be alone?”
“No,” I said, reaching out to him. “Stay.”
Levi froze, glancing from my hand to my eyes. “Do you mean it?” he whispered.
“I do.”
Instead of softening, his eyes became hard, almost cold. “I’m not going to have sex with you for revenge or to get back at Anders.”
I gasped in horror. “Please. No, that’s not what this is.” My face felt hot, and my eyes burned. “This isn’t retaliation. Do you think I’m that kind of person?”
The hardness in his eyes faded as he shook his head. “No. I know you’re not. I’m sorry.”
Hearing him apologize to me hurt. I closed my eyes as the weight of everything crashed down on me. I’d left him, not the other way around. I should be the one apologizing. All I wanted was to feel his arms around me. I hadn’t felt safe or comforted since the last time he’d held me.
“I want you, Levi,” I said, at last opening my eyes to look at him. “I want you because you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted. All the way back to that night in the woods when you first kissed me. I think that was when you became wedged in my mind and my heart. I…I didn’t realize it until now.”
Levi took a step toward me, eyes locked on me, a hungry, hopeful expression on his face.
“If you’re being serious,” he said, “then say it. Say it and mean it.”
Sucking in a trembling breath, I nodded. “I need you,” I said, almost moaning the words. I’d never spoken anything that was so true. “I’ve never needed anything more.”
A triumphant glimmer sparked in his eyes, and he pulled me into his arms so fast that I barely saw him move. He kissed me hard until my head spun. This was what life should be like.This. In the few seconds he had me, I was able to forget everything else. Anders, the ceremony, Eugenia, Naphele… all of it vanished in the blink of an eye.
Overcome with desire and need, I reached down, yanking at his belt. As I unbuckled it with trembling fingers, heat pooled between my legs. I had to have him. Here, in the open. I didn’t care if anyone came across us. I couldn’t wait until we were back in Idlewild or Hidden Grove. I wanted to give myself to him and allow all my worries to vanish while he was inside me.
Levi broke the kiss, panting for breath. “Are you sure?”
In answer, I growled low in my throat and kissed him again as I slid my hand into his pants and wrapped my fingers around his cock. Levi grunted with pleasure as I gently squeezed him.
His hands roamed up my body, caressing my breasts through my shirt, fingertips dragging deliciously across my nipples before slipping between the buttons and grasping the fabric. With a single quick tug, he yanked my shirt open. Buttons flew away into the forest. Levi growled, the sound reverberating through me, and with a few fast movements, he had my bra and shirt completely off. The cool air kissed my breasts, making my nipples ache as they tightened.
