As we standin front of the enormous ornate doors with their intricate pattern and flanked by some mean-looking trolls, Min gives me a sad smile. “You ready?”
I nod at her, but we both know I’ll never be ready to marry Marcus. I want a husband who can match my passion in and out of the bedroom. Someone who can challenge me physically and intellectually. Not some guy whose fingers are so smooth and uncalloused that Min’s touch feels more like a real man’s than his does.
I would never let a man dominate me in any way, but I have had fantasies of someone taking control in the bedroom, flipping me on my back and doing unmentionable things to me. But with Marcus, I’ll probably have to settle with missionary style. That’s if he even knows what missionary style is.
“Just remember that if this doesn’t come off as realistic, we’ll all be banished. You just have to get through today. You can do as you wish afterward.”
My irritation spikes. I can’t count the amount of times Min, or my family, have reminded me of what is at stake here. Out of all of them, I know the stakes. That’s why I’m giving my life away to a man I’d much rather see staked to a fence. And we all know that I can’t just blow him off tomorrow. Once I say “I do” that’s it. I will be constantly watched by the council and will have to play the adoring wife.
But then I look down at her chewed fingers, and the guilt returns full force. “I know what needs to be done.” My voice, so flat and forlorn, brings more tears to her eyes.
I wipe them away. “Hey, no more tears, okay? We’ve shed way too many of those already. It is what it is, Min. I’ll make a good life despite the circumstances.” Yet, as I say it, the hollowness within me grows that much bigger. I wonder how long it will take for me to be a husk of the person I used to be.
The first strain of the bridal march reaches my ears just as the doors open with a flourish, and I try to conceal the giant jump scare it gives me. My nerves are fried, knowing all eyes are on mine. Waiting, watching for any indication that I’m going to embarrass them.
Minerva squeezes my arm with her hand, and I make my way down the aisle. The room must have at least three hundred people in it, and I swallow down the dread. As I plaster on a fake smile and take in my suspecting and unsuspecting jailers,the music sounds like a funeral dirge. Each step I take feels like a step closer to the gallows.
My heart pounds, my hands start sweating, and all I can think isrun. But no matter how much I feel like I can’t do this, I will never do this to my family or my pack.
I look down at the red carpet leading me to where Marcus waits for me. I don’t know if he’s watching me walk down the aisle, but I don’t care. Min taps my arm, signaling for me to look at Marcus. When I do—reluctantly—my breath catches in my throat.
His charcoal suit fits him as though it has been sewn on him, which I imagine it has since he has more money than he has sense. Don’t come at me for my double standards. I know all about them. But I’m the bride. And even if I’d rather set myself on fire than marry him, I still deserve to be shit hot. Unbidden, I take him in. He’s a lot more handsome than I expected and far more fit than I remember. He’s not even looking at me.
My steps falter, and Min squeezes my arm as the wave of insurmountable grief washes over me, drowning me like a tidal wave, suffocating me like a noose around my neck. The room spins as it really hits me that I’m about to marry my enemy. As I get closer to facing him, my anger is replaced with unbridled fury. Fuck him. Here I am, going to all this effort to look the emotional, blushing bride, and this turd-waffle can’t even look at me as I walk down the aisle.
I’ll never have the opportunity to have my husband stare back at me with love and reverence as I walk toward him on my journey to become his life partner. His wife. A word that should be held sacred. The mixed emotions sap every ounce of energy, and it feels like I’m walking through quicksand. As I’d done when I was a child and couldn’t deal with my emotions, I seek my father out. I find him on the seat in the front right, and his broken expression nearly brings me to my knees. It snapsme right out of this emotional rollercoaster I’m experiencing, and a sense of resolve hits me. I need to stop this shit. My pack is counting on me, and I will not let them down. Marcus might be prepared for himself and whoever he loves to be exiled, but that’s not how I roll. I shouldn’t be surprised, though, since loyalty isn’t one of his core values. Clearly.
I lift my chin. I drag my feet out of the quicksand, and I march to my new life. Nothing about this is about me anymore. It’s about ensuring the safety and security for those I love.
The next however long it takes the alpha to go through the greetings and everything that goes with it go by in a blur. All I know is my cheeks hurt from the fake smile I have plastered on my face.
“I believe the happy couple have prepared their own vows.”
Panicking, I turn to Minerva. What? Why the hell didn’t I know about this? If I could, I’d glare at Marcus right now, but all eyes are on us. I’m sure the no-good fucker set me up. Ugh, if I could just let my wolf free for ten seconds, I could clamp my jaws around his throat.
Marcus takes my hands, and I have to fight the urge to snap them away as if I’ve unknowingly placed them in lava. He rubs my fingers with his thumb, his gaze fixed on them as if studying every line of my hand. His thumb traces softly, deliberately, over the engagement ring he had delivered to my room this morning so we could keep up appearances. Then, his eyes meet mine, and he smiles—a smile so intense it knocks the breath right out of my lungs. My lips betray me and curl up, and I’m sure I’m staring at him like a fool.
When Marcus doesn’t proceed with his vows, the alpha clears his throat. A warning perhaps, but to anyone else it would seem he is encouraging Marcus to begin.
Marcus turns and smiles sheepishly at the alpha. “My apologies. I’m caught up in my bride’s beauty.” He turns andfaces the guests. “Isn’t she stunning?” The room erupts with cheers and stomping feet, and Marcus dips his head. Just like that, the glamour his smile put me under is shattered, and I bristle. Min gives me a warning look, and I force my face into a neutral expression. Marcus releases a hand and raises it to quieten the guests. “If I may, I’d like to say my vows. I can no longer contain the urgency to make this beautiful woman my wife.”
Another round of cheers explodes through the room, and the alpha taps his staff against the floor. Everyone immediately falls silent, and the alpha smiles. “Let’s allow this couple to commit their lives to each other. The reception will be the time for celebrating.” He turns back to us. “You may begin.”
Marcus captures my hand in his once more and stares lovingly at me. This time, I’m not enamored by the show he’s putting on; I know he’s laying it on thick for his adoring fans. But I’m proud of the fact that, instead of rolling my eyes, I’m able to smile. However, I dig my thumbnail into the soft flesh between his thumb and forefinger. His brief flinch gives me immense pleasure.
“Esmerelda, as heirs to our respective tribes, we understand the weight of sacrifice and the complexity of choices that are not always easy. Today, I stand before you, making the ultimate choice and embracing the greatest sacrifice—marriage. It is the profound commitment to set aside our individual desires and prioritize each other above all else.
“While it may seem a sacrifice, it is one I make willingly. Today, I vow to make a future with you, to protect you, and walk beside you through every step of the journey. Today, two seemingly unlikely people are uniting, bound by a shared goal: to see people thrive—not as separate entities, but as one united tribe.
“I vow to support you, to stand by your side, and to grow with you. I look forward to discovering the layers of who you are and learning more with each passing day. As we age, I vow to grow in understanding, compassion, and respect.
“I could speak of love and devotion, but the sanctity of those words should only be uttered in private. So, for now, I will save those promises for the moments shared between just us. But here, in front of those who matter most, I vow to give my life to you—from this day forward, and for all the days to come.”
Well, shit! I don’t know where Marcus pulled that from, but it is actually quite…nice. He also did a great job of acting like we have feelings for each other. I suppose, if you’re a master of manipulation, it’s easy to whip heartfelt vows out of your ass. Now I have to come up with something equally good. Asshole. A heads-up would’ve been nice.
The alpha clears his throat, and while it sounds like he’s trying to move things along, to me it sounds like the warning it is. I follow my soon-to-be husband’s lead and turn to the guests. “My apologies, I’m rather blown away by my husband’s vows.” I turn back to Marcus and wrangle a shy smile. “I’m afraid I’m not quite the wordsmith as you, my love. I guess I should stop teasing you about how much stronger I am. It seems spending all your time with your nose in a book does have its advantages.”
The guests laugh, and although they think I’m kidding, I find immense satisfaction at getting the dig in. Marcus squeezes my hand tight, the ring he placed on my finger digging into my skin, but his face doesn’t give anything away. The sooner we get this façade over, the better. I take a deep breath. “Marcus, you are right to keep our true feelings about each other private. The true depths of our feelings are something we should only share with each other. And you know more than anyone that I’m not the type of person to wax lyrical about how I feel. That said, I stand before you and those most important to us, and I vow toforever keep you on your toes. I vow to spend the rest of my life showing you exactly how I feel about you.” A growl hits my ears in painful waves. Without even looking, I know it’s the alpha telepathically giving me my final warning. But then the guests all start laughing and cheering, and Marcus joins in with the laughter, so the alpha’s warning subsides.
