I notice the use of the past tense. “Aunt Anabelle is…?”
“She’s gone too,” he replies with a shake of his head. “Last year. She passed peacefully in her sleep, though Ethel insists she’s still haunting the nursing home just for the heck of it.”
Milo’s eyes crinkle, and I chuckle. “After meeting Ethel, I can just imagine the kind of trouble they got into.”
“Oh, you think Ethel is bad now? She was ten times worse when she had her sidekick. In reality, it was Aunt Anabelle who came up with the mischief, and Ethel was just happy to be along for the ride.”
“She must be where you get your goblin from,” I tease. My joke works, and I wrangle another sweet laugh from him.
It’s short-lived, though, and Milo’s shoulders slump again.
“Aunt Anabelle was great. She was my rock after my parents’ car crash and took care of everything so that I could focus on the band. Maybe I got a little too comfortable and ignored everything else besides my music. I pushed the others too hard, and even after they brought up disbanding a couple years in the first time around, I refused. I thought we were in our prime, that we could leave behind a legend that’s never been seen before. We’d live up to the MYTHS name.”
Milo pauses, and his voice is filled with sorrow when he continues, “I didn’t see the cracks that’d formed in our band. No, it’s more like Irefusedto see them. Ignored them because they weren’t part of my plan.”
My arms wrap even tighter around him as silent support to show that I’m still here. That I’m on his side.
He hugs me. His nose is pressed into the base of my neck, and he takes a deep breath, like my scent is as calming for him as his is for me.
“It started with alcohol,” he finally continues, and I wrap him tighter. “I think I noticed the booze-filled breath after our first year, but I shrugged it off. It’s no secret that celebrities like to party, and we were young and successful, so while we were all striving for the same goals together, it wasn’t like we were close enough to share our secrets. Tate was the one to voice his concerns about Sully and set up an intervention. I think it was right after they brought up disbandment for the first time. And when I stopped smelling alcohol on Sully, I thought the intervention worked. I thought—Iwanted—everything to be fine. It wasn’t. It’d gotten so much worse.”
“Oh, Milo.”
I’m hugging him tight now, probably too tight for it to be comfortable, but he doesn’t complain. He only holds on to me too.
“He started using drugs?” I ask softly.
Milo nods into my chest.
I can’t say I’m surprised. Drugs aren’t uncommon in this industry. The spotlight shines brightly on the glamor of this lifestyle, but that just means the shadows are deeper.
“I never told anyone else, but he tried talking to me in private about disbanding again, you know? But I shrugged him off. Told him we couldn’t quit when we were at the height of our careers. I ignored his hollow eyes and gaunt skin because I only had eyes on my goals.”
“But he agreed with you, didn’t he? Isn’t that why he stayed?”
“He stayedbecause I guilt-tripped him! Sully is a sweetheart. He would sacrifice himself if it meant making someone happy,” Milo argues.
“That’s not your fault,” I insist and nudge him back so he can see how serious I am when I say, “He stayed, and that’s a choicehemade.”
“Iforced him into it.Me! If I’d just agreed to the disbandment when they’d first brought it up instead of dragging them with me for years longer, then maybe he wouldn’t have even fallen into drugs in the first place. He wouldn’t have gottensick.” Milo is shaking his head, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.
I use my thumb to wipe them away.
“You weren’t the only member of the band. There were four other people with you. Four others who could have called out the problem and put the brakes on everything. But they didn’t. They didn’t because they wanted the same thing as you. They wanted MYTHS to go further, because why else would they stay?”
“Because I convinced them to?” Milo speaks the question weakly.
“Babe, you can probably charm the pants off anyone, but I don’t think they would stay unless they have something to gain from it. Unlesstheywanted it. That’s not on you.”
Milo doesn’t speak for a moment. He’s all glossy gray eyes filled with emotion—one that looks way too close to affection, which might be my own delusion.
“You called mebabe,” he whispers when he finds his voice again, just in time for me to lose mine.
“I—well, um, it,” Istumble. The term of endearment slipped out, and I’m not sure how to explain it away without revealing how I truly feel about him.
“I spent so much time in my head—in my music—that I ignored everything else around me. Thank you for taking my side, but I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for what I did to Sully—and I don’t want to repeat that. I don’t want more regrets. I don’t want to ignore anyone else’s feelings because I’m still stuck in my head.”
I frown, unsure of where he’s coming from or what he’s implying. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something big is about to come. Something that’s going to shake my whole axis, and when I’m trying not to rock the boat, it terrifies me.
