“Nothing!” I squeak out.
Before he can question me, the restaurant answers, and Rowan lists our order.
Perfect timing, too, otherwise I might have babbled more about how thoughtful Rowan is, how he’s so nice to look at, and how the man practically walked straight out of my dreams.
If I hadn’t already made a fool of myself today by, one, the entire incident with Lance, two, basically listing out all the qualities I like in a man, and it being Rowan to a tee, then telling him he walked straight out of my dreams would officially scare him away, if he doesn’t already regret working for me.
“Food will be here in forty minutes,” Rowan says when he hangs up the phone.
“Thanks for ordering.”
I grin, and he nods, and then we’re staring at each other in silence. It’s not the first time we’re spending time alone, but it’s the first time we’re surrounded by this heaviness.
Maybe I’m delusional—I’m often told I am by Ray—but the desire in the room is palpable, and it’s not only coming from me. Standing right in front of Rowan, I can see the heat burning in his eyes as he looks at me. It’s a scorching caress that draws me in.
He licks his lips, immediately catching my eye. Maybe because they’ve just been moistened, but his lips look so soft and kissable. It’s a funny thought, really. The man with hard muscles and stoic personality can have something so soft about him, and I desperately want to feel the juxtaposition of him.
What would it feel like to tumble into bed with him? To have all those hard muscles pressed against me while he’s kissing me with the softest part of his body?
The thought sends an involuntary shiver through me that knocks me back to reality. I’m in the kitchen with Rowan, who's standing awkwardly in front of me, like he was having the same naughty daydream as I was.
He clears his throat and breaks our stare-off to look at the floor. “I should give you some privacy to make the call.”
“Right. The call,” I repeat. The reminder is a cold splash of water that completely erases the last of my lust-filled thoughts. “You can wash up while I make the call if you want. There are bathrobes and new toiletries in the downstairs bathroom. I’ll also call to have some clothes delivered for you. I doubt anything I have will fit.”
“There’s no need to go through all that trouble,” he tries to argue.
“You can’t just walk around naked, now can you? Not that I would mind,” I blurt out with a laugh, then instantly regret it. I definitely should not be bringing up anything regarding Rowan naked inside my house. Fantasizing about his glorious body is strictly prohibited.
“It’s really no trouble!” I quickly add. I indulge in a glance at his giant muscles. “I’ll tell them to find the biggest size they can. Well, I should go make that call now!”
I run upstairs and hide in the safety of my room before I do something I can’t take back. My heartbeat is loud in my ears, and heat pools in my stomach as Rowan tugging his shirt off in slow motion plays in my head.
I’m rock hard in my suit pants. My back slides down the closed door until I’m sitting and scrambling to free my straining erection and provide some much-needed relief.
I’m all worked up because it’s been a while since I last jacked off, much less had another person’s hand on me. Discreet hookups are difficult when your face is plastered all over the city.
It’s not my hand I’m feeling when I touch myself, though; it’s larger and more callused than mine. I tug harder than I normally do, the way I imagine Rowan would. He’s so much bigger and stronger than me that I’d be completely under his control.
My breath is heavy, and I imagine Rowan’s warmth mixing with mine, his mustache tickling me as he leans in for a kiss. It only takes another tug before I’m coming all over my hand.
The clarity that instantly washes over me has me popping up to my feet and looking down my body. I’m horrified thatI just jacked off thinking about my bodyguard while he’s downstairs. Even worse, I did it in borrowed clothes.
Thankfully, most of the cum landed in my hand, but I quickly scramble out of the suit and hang it up for dry cleaning anyway. I call the downstairs concierge to find Rowan something to wear and pick up the suit for cleaning. Then I jump in the shower for good measure, hoping that by scrubbing my body clean, it’ll work the same for my mind.
I donotthink about Rowan.
It’s a difficult task when the man is a giant in both physical form and the space he takes up inside my head, but by the time I finish the ten-step beauty routine Ray insisted I needed to start now that I’m twenty-eight, I think I’m zen enough to not freak out when I have to face Rowan again.
I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if I look like a man who just had the most explosive orgasm he’s had in months.
It’s hard to tell when my face is shining like a disco ball from all the essence and serums Ray forces me to use. At least I won’t have to worry about another lust-filled incident with Rowan when I look like this.
It’s the silver lining, or whatever.
I hide in my room to give myself more time to cool off until the notification comes to my phone requesting access to the elevator for the concierge. I approve it and bring my suit downstairs.
It’s hard not to miss the disappointment I feel when I don’t see Rowan. The door to the spare bedroom is firmly shut,making me wonder if he’s called it a night without even telling me.
