“I don’t think I’d be a good father. You’d be better off without me.”
Olivia’s heart sank.
“But I would never abandon my kid.” His jaw hardened. “Even if you weren’t my True Mate. That label doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Your mother,” she breathed. “What happened?—”
“She’s dead.”
“How did she?—”
“And Garret’s going to Siberia and I’m never going to see him again.”
The finality in his tone was impossible to miss. The subject of his parents was obviously a sore one, so Olivia didn’t press him. “So now what?”
“I told you, I’m not abandoning this kid.” he said. “But that would mean I would be in your life too.”
“Yes.” True Mate or not, they would be forever bound by this life growing inside of her. But what did he want? What did this mean to him? “Eli, what are you asking me? Please, no more games. Just say it.”
“I feel a connection to you.” There was no hesitation in his words. “From the moment I saw you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that first time we met.”
“Me too,” she admitted. Even though she left New York after that night on the rooftop, but she still found herself thinking of him. “I didn’t think I’d see you again, and then I came to Blood Moon that second time and we …”
“Why did you leave in the morning?” His tone wasn’t accusatory. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no,” she said, shaking her head. “Not at all. I just freaked out. It all felt so fast. I woke up and felt embarrassed.”
“Can’t blame you, I guess.” He looked away from her. “I’m probably not the type of guy you usually go for.”
“I—what?” Did he think she was embarrassed of being with him? “No, you have the wrong impression, Eli.” Reaching out, she gripped his forearm, tugging at him until he turned back to her, staring at her with those dark, mossy green eyes. “I wasn’t embarrassed about being with you. I told you, I don’t do stuff like that. I mean, hooking up with someone right after meeting them.” Her cheeks heated, as thoughts of that night flooded her brain again. “People judge me a lot, and I was worried you were going to …” Oh God, could she even say it?
“You were worried I was going to what?”
“That y-you would think I-I was an easy lay. That you would brag to your friends about sleeping with me. Or post about me on social media.”
“What? No, no.” He shook his head. “Never. I don’t have social media. Or friends.” His mouth twitched. “And why would I post about you? “
He had no idea who she was.
Now it was beginning to make sense. That morning when she left, her first thought was about her reputation. There were a lot of models who’d been burned by guys treating them as mereconquests, bragging to other men about sleeping with them or worse, selling them out to gossip rags.
“You shouldn’t be ashamed,” he said in a quiet, but serious voice. “What we did wasn’t shameful.”
She sucked in a breath as he reached out and cupped her cheek. His palm, rough and warm, caressed her so gently and once again she was reminded of that night with him. A night she had replayed over and over again in her mind. The sex had been out of this world and no one she’d ever been with had given her pleasure like that. But beyond that, there was something between them. For now, it was like thread, thin and fragile, but it was there.
“I feel it too.” She covered his hand with hers. “That connection.”
“I won’t abandon you or our child.” To her disappointment, he pulled his hand away. “But I don’t know what kind of father I’d be.”
“And you think I’d be a better parent?” She let out a laugh. “The last time I spent any time with a child, I was a kid myself. I don’t know anything about changing diapers and early morning feedings. And frankly, the idea of being in charge of a small person scares the heck out of me. But …” Squeezing his hand, she glanced up at him. “I want to get to know you.”
He looked relieved. “You mean something to me. I was going to look for you, but that morning you left, things went to shit here. Jacob and Sloane were jumped in the back alley of Blood Moon that night.”
She gasped. “I remember. I came to Blood Moon with Sloane.” Olivia had come home after an extended period doing shows abroad and went straight to her cousin Lizzie’s house, where she had met Sloane. They decided to go to Blood Moon since Sloane had never been there before. “I felt even worsewhen I found out she was attacked after I abandoned her to leave with you.”
“Jacob was set to go on a job in Europe,” Eli explained. “I had to go in his place and be part of the Queen of Zhobghadi’s security detail during her royal tour.”
“Deedee—I mean, Queen Desiree?” Desiree Desmond Creed AKA Queen Desiree of Zhobghadi, was a New York Lycan who had married the king of a small, independent kingdom. Olivia knew Deedee from when they were kids, and occasionally met during clan functions, though they hadn’t really run in the same social circles once they grew up.
