“I know it isn’t much.” his voice is unsteady but determined. He sucks in a deep breath. “But I can’t imagine my life without you in it. This last year, with you, has been the best year of my life.”
The words aren’t rehearsed. They’re pulled deep from inside of him, somewhere that bleeds his affection loudly.
“You showed up when I didn’t even realize I needed someone,” he continues, voice softening. “You call me out when I’m being an idiot. You laugh at my worst jokes. You make ordinary days feel like something worth remembering.”
My heart is pounding so loudly that I’m sure he can hear it over the pattering of the rain against the metal roof.
“And I know we’re young,” a breath of nervous laughter is squeezed from him. “But, fuck. I’m completely, undeniably in love with you. Will you marry me, Melody Love?”
There’s a beat of hesitation where the last year plays across my mind in broken fragments. Late nights studying together with a pint of ice cream between us, finding our way back to each other after being beaten down from our midterms and seeking companionship, and the nightmares he’s helped me through over the last year. It all comes rushing back to me at this very moment.
No, our love isn’t consuming and all-devouring. It’s the kind of affection that’s earned quietly, nestling its way slowly into the deepest crevices of your heart before you even realize you’ve been claimed. It’s enduring the fights and still wanting to be close to that person, no matter how badly they pissed you off.
I haven’t allowed myself to think of a future where it wasn’t Kaden down on one knee, proposing to me. The very thought seemed too painful to even conjure, but now, he takes a backseat, lingering somewhere in the recesses of my mind like a phantom.
I’m moving on and letting go.
I can’t keep holding out hope for a man who clearly never wanted me. No matter how badly that rejection still stings.
I nod, my happy tears falling. “Yes.”
Dylan rises quickly, his lips tugging up into disbelief as he slides the ring on my finger. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper as I push up on my toes and kiss him.
No, this isn’t the fairytale love that you read about, and I once had within my grasp. It’s different. But different isgood.
Chapter thirty-eight
Kaden
Four Years Later
Sixyears.
Thirty-two days.
Four hours.
Twenty-seven seconds.
My internal clock ticks down the time I’ve spent away from her. It’s a habit I picked up the night everything went wrong. As I stared at the clock on my phone, ignoring every missed call and text message, I internalized the mechanisms of time. I needed something to hold onto to keep myself sane.
Now, it plays on a broken loop in my mind, the only ordinary thing about my schedule that still has innocence and isn’t tainted by my hands. It does nothing in hindsight, only living as a constant reminder of how long I’ve been without Melody’s touch.
Melody.
Melody.
Melody.
My sister lives rent-free in my head, the image of her burning into the back of my eyelids anytime I close my eyes. She’s the one that got away, but it’s all my fault she even left to begin with. In the end, the logistics of it all don’t matter. She’s stillmine.
Twenty-three hours.
Twenty-three hours.
Twenty-three hours.
