I stay silent for a few seconds. I need to choose my words carefully right now. I just nod and tell her I’ll get dressed and help search.
An hour after I join the fruitless search on the beach, the police arrive, and flashlights slice through the darkness. Voices overlapping as panic spreads.
I’m hysterical now as I scream Sadie’s name until my throat feels like it’s bleeding.
I try Gabriel again and this time he answers. On his end I hear the hum of what sounds like the TV. I quickly tell him what’s going on, and ask why he didn’t answer my calls and texts.
“Is Sadie with you? Did you catch up with her?”
He only answers with a question of his own. “What do you mean? What happened?”
He’s with Judy and that’s why he can’t answer my questions.
“Gabriel, the police are here to search for her. They’re afraid she went into the water.”
He is quiet for a long time and I’m guessing he moved away from Judy to speak privately.
Then, breathless, he tells me what happened. He ran after Sadie but he lost her. He thought maybe she ran back to her room to be alone, and of course he is not allowed inside.
“Don’t call Judy yet to tell her that Sadie can’t be found. Let’s not worry her yet. I’ll come to the camp to help with the search. I’m sure she’s fine, upset but fine. We’ll find her.” But I do hear the catch in his voice, an underlying fear.
What surprises me is that he lost his daughter and just left to go back to the apartment without even telling me. Wasn’t he worried? That thought bothers me for a while, but then I figure that maybe he thought she was safe in the camp and nothing would happen to her.
Not long after the call, they find Sadie’s sneakers on the shore, but no Sadie.
When I reach the place where they found Sadie’s shoes, I drop to the ground. For a while I stay there, tasting the salt of my own tears, the taste of regret.
Judy trusted me with her daughter and I failed her.
The police are talking about water searches now, involving the Coast Guard and divers.
When Gabriel shows up, he barely stays.
“I have to go back,” he tells me. “I need to be with Judy when she hears.”
Then he reaches for my forearm. “Please don’t tell anyone what happened,” he whispers, eyes darting toward the search party down the beach. “Not about us. Not about Sadie seeing us.”
My teeth chatter despite the warm night. “You want me to lie to the police?”
His lawyer face slides into place. “Judy cannot find out what happened tonight.”
A sob tears from my throat. “Our Sadie is missing.” The words come out ragged, barely audible over the shouts of searchers calling Sadie’s name. “What if?—?”
“No, she didn’t drown. They’ll find her,” he insists, glancing at the abandoned sneakers being photographed by officers. “She probably took them off to run faster down the beach. I know mydaughter, she likes to be alone when she’s upset. She’s creative when it comes to hiding spots.”
Behind us, flashlight beams crisscross the dunes. Then suddenly, a helicopter thrums overhead. Its spotlight sweeps the dark water.
“What about when they ask where I was when she disappeared?” My voice rises. “I was gone for a long time.”
“Tell them you had a headache and had to go to your room. That you planned to go back to the bonfire, but you fell asleep.”
I dig my nails into my palms. “I can’t believe you want me to lie to the police while they’re—” My voice breaks as a coast guard boat cuts through the waves, searchlight scanning the darkness. “While they’re combing the ocean for her.”
Oh, my God, what if it’s true? What if something really happened to Sadie? Heat starts to burn behind my eyes. It distorts the edges of everything in my vision.
In my mind’s eye, I imagine Sadie, her hair plastered wet to her face, her mouth and lungs full of salty water, her chest still.
Gabriel tugs me farther away from the commotion. “If you don’t, we are going to lose everything.” His fingers tighten on me. “You’ll lose your best friend. I’ll lose my wife. Sadie’s family will fall apart.”
