Everything is a blur as I fill out paperwork, walk through a metal detector, and push my oversized handbag into a locker.
As soon as I enter the visitation room and take a seat, the numbness wears off and unpleasant emotions assail me. The longer I wait for Alex to arrive, the deeper I sink into the pit of fear.
By the time he emerges from the metal door, my hands and face are sleek with sweat and my heart is slamming into my chest. I wipe the sweat away and put on a smile. I need to be strong for both of us.
Chapter 6
I’m sitting across from Alex, a pane of glass between us. I hate that I’m unable to reach out and hug him, reassure him, and comfort him. He also can’t do the same for me.
I place my hand on the glass, pressing my palm against the cool material.
It’s a long time before we speak. He looks as tired as I feel. His eyes are also cloudy with pain. It’s like looking at my own reflection.
The clock is ticking. We need to make the most of the time we’ve been given.
During the drive, I rehearsed every word I would say, but now it’s hard to find the right words to say in a moment like this.
How often is one’s husband arrested for murder?
“How’s the baby?” he finally asks.
I’m relieved that his first words are not about the murder.
My mouth tugs at the corners and my hand goes to my belly. “The baby has been kicking well.”
He doesn’t need to know about the pains I felt earlier. He has enough to worry about.
His eyes crease at the corners when he smiles. “That’s good news.”
“How are they treating you in there?” I ask, taking a step toward the elephant in the room.
He doesn’t have to utter a word for me to know that being locked up has taken a toll on him. He has always been one of those people who stand tall, with their shoulders pushed back and head held high. Now he’s slumped forward, crushed by the weight on his shoulders.
“Let’s not talk about it.” He pushes a hand through his hair and glances at the guard on duty. He’s busy reading what looks like a romance novel, with the cover folded over so nobody can see. “I won’t be here for long. Let’s focus on that, okay?”
I nod, but there’s still one thing I need to know. “Do you need a lawyer?”
“I already have one,” he says. “He will handle everything.”
“Appointed to you?” I can’t see how we would be able to afford a lawyer.
“You don’t have to worry about that. Just focus on being safe.” A shadow crosses his features. “I heard about the protests outside our house. There’s gossip behind bars too.” He rests his forearms on the small counter in front of him. “I think you should go somewhere safe until I’m out. We’ll start over in another place. Everything will be all right again.”
That was what he said before we moved to Aston, before we move anywhere. A few weeks or months after every failed pregnancy, he started making plans to move us.
“I can’t.” I shake my head. “I won’t leave you, Alex.” My voice is fragile around the edges but also firm enough to let him know that I mean it.
“Baby, there’s nothing you can do here. There’s nothing you can do for me. Let the lawyer handle everything.” He looks sideways at the other prisoners. “People believe I’m guilty. I don’t want them to take it out on you. You have to think of the baby. You need to leave, Viola.”
“But where will I go?” I can’t keep my voice from cracking. “I have nowhere else to go.” Home has always been where he was.
“Use the savings to stay in a hotel somewhere for a couple of days. I heard I might get transferred to Nashville today or tomorrow. Why don’t you go there? I don’t want you alone in that house.”
“Why are you being transferred?”
“I guess they don’t have the resources in this small town for a case like this one.” He scratches his beard. “Just promise me to get out of the house, at least for a while.”
He’s as worried as I am. I don’t know how far the protesters will go to seek justice. When I switched on the TV this morning, I felt their anger right through the screen. They used only their words to attack me, but how long before they harm me physically?
