I cum quickly, thoughts dripping out my ear.
“I’ll be back.”
I can’t tell when I woke up, or if I even fell asleep.
I had to have awoken earlier—those half-eaten pizza slices and apple on my desk had to have been half eaten by someone
It’s mostly a wild blur. I can remember every trivial thing feeling like it was more important than life, and embarrassing myself before Vincenza.
Ibeggedfor her to touch me, half-lucid. Ineededher arms for comfort. I had no dignity.
How could she love someone who’s so beneath her? I’m coming up to her in the shadow of a perfect woman, with no flaws, a confident figure—and a shared cultural understanding only someone living in Roversella then would understand.
I feel dull. There’s no sting off my insults, just the soft disappearance of my shallow pride.
A tentative knock on the door interrupts my ruminating, and I toss my blankets to get up and check.
“Hey, Cata—“ Vincenza giggles, eyeing my chest. “I heard your bed frame groaning and wanted to see if you were back with me.”
I must look incompetent in her eyes. “I am… I didn’t make too much of a fool of myself, did I?”
“No.” She grabs my jaw and pulls me in for a kiss. “I just wanted to see you before I go to bed. You didwonderfultoday.”
“Oh—thanks, Vincenza.”
All the world shines brighter. The dullness is gone.
“I should thank you, you amazing thing. I didn’t want you to fall under thinking that I was anything less than pleased by you.” She steps back. “I’ll be here in the morning.”
Something in the way she says that makes my heart drop.
I’ll be here in the morning.
A promise, as though there was the possibility it wouldn’t be true before she said it.
I don’t want her to get away from me. “M-my bed’s still warm. I… wouldn’t mind the company for the night.”
“Catarina, you ask a lot of your mistress. I truly shouldn’t.”
“You only shouldn’t if you don’t want to. If you want to… it’s something you can just have.”
She freezes, all caught up.
“I just don’t want to spend the night missing you.”
That makes her step back towards me. “You are insufferably tempting.”
I turn my head for a better view of her face. “You… have more freckles than you used to.”
“I’ve been outside too often. Maybe I’ll settle back indoors now that you’ve made this place sointeresting.“ She enters my room, stripping down her dress, and I help.
“I… I also liked you today. I’ve never had someone who felt so much like an… ally, to me.”
“Not your friends?”
“They’re friendly, and Lucia was there for me—with money—at my worst moments, but none of them are like you.” I snicker. “I can’t imagine Lucia coming by to give me a kiss goodnight.”
“That’s terrible. It’s cruel enough for you to suffer havingjustone.“ She tosses me into the bed and presses me down into the pillows with piles of kisses.
