Then the idiot starts humming a fucking gospel hymn.
Frustration is a familiar lifeline. I grasp onto it with both hands, preparing to rip into him.
Suddenly, he steps back and tilts his head at the canvas.
“I read your favorite book recently.”
“My favorite… book?”
“Yeah, the Bible.”
I silently weigh the pros and cons of chucking my laptop at his painting. Pro: he’d go apeshit. Con: My laptop would probably break and I don’t have the money to replace it.
Oblivious to my simmering rage— or purposefully rousing it— he continues, “I’m not gonna lie, the plot surprised me. It was way more entertaining than I thought. I mean, who knew the entire New Testament was basically an account of a gay cult leader running around getting the degenerates and rejects of society riled up against the corrupt government? And I loved one of the Marys— Magdalene, I think. So progressive of Jesus to have a known slut as a bestie. But don’t get mestartedon his mom. That Mary is as much a virgin as my ass.”
For some reason, I'm hung up on the last bit. A flare of irrational fury burns in my chest. It shouldn’t surprise me that he’s not a virgin, but the thought of someone else havinghim?—
What the hell is wrong with me? I should be appalled. At the very least, I shouldn’t give a shit who he fucks. Or let’s fuck him…
I bite hard on the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to look at the computer screen. The short-answer box is filled with sixes.Because that’s not ominous at all.I rush to backspace, trying to collect myself when another intrusive thought barges in. Remy likes guys. What if Cade is actually seeing Andrea’s best friend? Unwanted images of Remy behind Cade while he arches and makes those erotic sounds…
I’m gonna chuck my computer through the fucking window.
“Regardless, it’s wild to me,” Cade rambles on. “With Jesus being such an inclusive guy and all, I’m surprised the church changed the wording, because it changes the context too. Did you know ‘homosexual' wasn't even in the bible until 1946? Earlier editions were referring toexploitation, like old men with kids, which, to be fair, is fucking sick. But queerness wasn’t an issue until the ones in power needed a way to specify gender roles and maintain control over the population.”
All other thoughts halt because,no, I didnotknow that.
“You know, for an atheist, you're kinda obsessed with religion.”
He shrugs. “Religion… occult practices… same thing.”
I roll my eyes. But a black hole of doubt opens up in my brain. Cade is a lot of things, but he's not a liar. If he's right about this, it would call into question everything I've been taught.
Cade retreats from the canvas to examine his work from the center of the living room, allowing me a glimpse of the full image.
Emerging from the haphazard blur of blue, black and grey is the shadowy form of a boy clawing at his throat. Underwater.
Drowning.
Twenty-Two
ANDREA
The door swings shut,muffling the exit hymn. My heels click in rapid succession on the polished wood as I rush to the vestry, shedding my lector's robe as I go.
Sundays have become dreaded. Confidently reciting passages that proclaim the importance of trusting the Lord and His timing to the congregation is a sick joke.
The organ’s pipes blare at full volume, then are quickly stifled by the door shutting a second time. I glance over my shoulder, preparing my mask?—
Then let out a sigh of relief.
Just Lilly.
Twisting her honey-blonde hair into a low bun at the nape of her neck and securing it with a pin, she sighs, “You think there’s any tea left?” She wrinkles her nose at the crumpled plastic bottle in her hand. “Water doesn’t really help after three hours of singing.”
“Should be. Unless Mrs. Clemmons drank it all.” The organist sees herself as an invaluable member of Mass, but it’sLillywho’s irreplaceable. Her voice alone could carry the entire ceremony. Not that she has a choice. The minute she started singing as a child, our father put her in vocal lessons.
We split to opposite sides of the vestry; Lilly to the cupboard and me to the cubbies. I’m hanging my robe when deep baritone voices enter the hall. I hold my breath, ears straining.
