“Sometimes…” she murmured without looking at him. “Sometimes I wish I never saw you and her. In that bed. Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where we would be now if I didn’t see you then.”
“I told ye nothing happened,” he said fiercely. “Ineverbetrayed ye, Bry.”
“There’s more than one way to commit a betrayal, Lachlan.”
“Aye.” As a spark of anger ignited, he glared at the middle of her shoulder blades where a long curl, tugged free from its coiffure, dangled. “There is. And what of the betrayalsyecommitted, Brynne?”
At that, she whirled around. “Mybetrayals?”
“I held secrets from ye.” Even now the shame of it heated his cheeks, but he plowed ahead, determined to speak his piece. “I dinna deny that. And if I ever did anything tae encourage Allison tae seek out my bed that night, I’m sorrier for it than ye will ever know. But ye took vows, Bry. Ye promised tae stay by me side as me wife’Til death comes tae part us asunder’. Those were the words we spoke tae each other. When ye left me, when ye leftus, was that not a betrayal?”
“You gave me no choicebutto leave!” she cried.
“Or maybe there was a part of ye that was never completely there. With me. In that castle.” The weight of his words, the truth of them, hung in the air like a guillotine waiting to fall. “Less than half a year, and ye fled in the dead of the night like a bluidy thief. Do ye know what I think?”
“No,” she said shortly.
“I think I just gave ye the excuse ye were already looking for tae end what ye regret ever starting.”
Her eyes cooled; ice glazing over the top of a pond on the first true cold day of winter. “This discussion is over.”
“Aye,” he said, his voice clipped and all the more bitter for it. “Run along. That’s what ye do, isna it? When things get uncomfortable, ye run back tae what ye know. Like a horse with an entire field at its feet, but instead it returns tae its little square of wood and straw and grain.”
“I’m not a horse,” she said scornfully.
“Then what are ye?”
“I know what I am not. And I amnotyours. Not anymore.”
As she stormed out, Lachlan couldn’t help but ask himself if she ever truly was.
The next morning,Brynne rose with the sun and went straight to her brother’s study, where she dashed off a letter to their solicitor in London. The legality of dissolving a marriage that had both been consummated and surpassed its first year would be difficult, if not impossible, but if anyone could tackle such a difficult task, it was Mr. Jacobson.
All things being equal, she’d prefer to avoid an outright divorce. Especially since she hadn’t told anyone she was married. Not only that, but such an act would require her to prove that Lachlan had committed either adultery, cruelty, or incest before the Court of Divorce and Matrimonial Causes.
Two of the three were not applicable. She and Lachlan were certainly not related, and while she could argue that he had caused much emotional distress, it did not raise to the level of cruelty demanded by the court.
As for the third…
The third she refused to consider on the grounds that a charge of adultery meant invoking the nameandthe presence of the third party involved. And Allison Adair was the second person on earth she never wanted to see again.
The first being Lachlan.
Naturally.
Which left, to the best of her knowledge, judicial separation. The marriage would remain legally binding, but the court would prevent Lachlan from interfering with her affairs. In short, she would be married but not married; bound to Lachlan legally, but not responsible to him personally. She could own property in her name, control her own inheritance without having to give it to her husband, settle her own debts.
Such an act would prevent her from ever marrying again. It wasn’t ideal, but having been spurned once by a man she loved, she had little interest in ever repeating the experience.
There could be no children, which shedidwant.
Someday.
But surely such a sacrifice was worth her independence. Because shewasn’ta horse in a stable. Whatever Lachlan had meant by that ridiculous analogy. And shewasgoing to travel.
Someday.
And if she didn’t…if she failed to fulfill the dreams she’d shared on a starlit night with a boy who’d one day shatter her heart….well, there were worse things.
