“I really think—” Claire began.
“Are you sayingI’museless?” Evie’s eyes flashed a dangerous shade of blue. “Just because we like different things doesn’t mean whatIlike is any less valuable or unimportant. That’s your problem, you know.”
Anger boiled in Joanna’s blood, hot and thick. No one could rile her up quite like Evie. She almost wished they were children again, so that she might resort to yanking on Evie’s braids. But the last time she’d tried to pull Evie’s hair in the heat of an argument, Ruth had snapped a ruler across Joanna’s knuckles and told her in no uncertain terms that she was too old for such antics and, as a young lady, if she wanted to attack or defend herself she would have to learn how to do it with words.
The issue with words was that they required both thought and discipline. Joanna, on the other hand, had always preferred to act first and consider the potential consequences of those actions later.
“What,exactly, is my problem?” She advanced on Evie until they were nose to nose. Well, almost nose to nose. Joanna was several inches taller than both her sisters. Taller than almost every woman in the village, truth be told. “My string bean” her father had called her with great affection, and while other women might have felt self-conscious about their height being so different from their peers, Joanna had never given it a second thought.
“You think you’re always right just because you’re the eldest.” A storm cloud had gathered between Evie’s brows and lightning shot between them, leaving a groove in the middle of her flawlessly plucked arches. “And because you think you’re always right, you also believe things are just going to magically work out. But they’renot, and your foolish optimism has blinded you to the stark reality of our situation.”
“I’d rather have my optimism than your cynicism!” Joanna retorted.
“Would you rather starve than marry?”
“If it meant marrying someone I didn’t love, then maybe I would!”
“That’s absurd.”
“Perhaps, but no more absurd than trading my freedom for a fancy house high on a hill.” She gave a willful toss of her head. “I willnotmarry for any reason other than love. You cannot convince me otherwise.”
“And you callmedramatic?” Evie said. “What freedoms would you be giving up by marrying Charles Gaines? The freedom to live in this tiny little shack while everyone mocks us in the village? The freedom to not be able to afford butter or new clothes or wood for the winter? The freedom to not send Claire to finishing school?”
“I’d be giving up the freedom to be myself! Charles and all the other suitors preceding him would see me suffocated in beautiful gowns and tea parties and luncheons. They’d parade me about as if I were some fine show horse before they gave me a carrot and put me away while they went to smoke cigars and give themselves pats on the back for how well-behaved their wives are.”
Evie looked genuinely puzzled. “And what’s wrong with that?”
“It’s not for me. If I could find a wealthy man who had all the traits I desired, and who loved me for who I am now instead of who he wants to mold me into, then I would marry him in a second!” Joanna cried passionately. “But if such a man exists, he isn’t here in Somerville. Trust me.” Her mouth flattened. “I’ve searched.”
“Well you’d best keep searching, because we’ve no other way to keep the creditors at bay.”
“I—I could find someone to marry,” Claire interceded hesitantly.
“No,” Joanna and Evie said in unison.
Claire frowned. “But the butcher’s son, Eric, has been slipping two extra slices of bacon into our order.” Her face was overcome by a rosy blush. “I think…I think he might be sweet on me.”
Joanna shook her head. “Free bacon does not a marriage make.”
“But—”
“Joanna will be the first to marry,” Ruth announced, finally breaking her silence as she set her blanket aside and stood up from the rocking chair. “I’ve few rules in this house, but that is one which youallwill abide by. Furthermore, I’m weary of all this squabbling. You two,”—she pointed at Joanna and Evie—“have worn my nerves to the bone with your constant bickering. If your father could see you now, he’d bemostdisappointed in how you are treating each other.”
Shame burned the back of Joanna’s neck.
There was not a crueler thing that Ruth could have said.
But she was right.
If Father could see them now, hewouldbe disappointed.
He’d always been so proud of how his daughters had gotten along. Oh, they’d had their occasional disagreements. Three girls under a single roof, how could they not? But they’d never fought like this. And never over things of such a personal nature.
The uncertainty of the war, the death of their father, and the loss of their home and the life they knew had combined to create the perfect storm of emotions that neither Joanna nor Evie knew how to navigate. The sad truth, Joanna assumed, was that they’d grown so accustomed to pointing out each other’s differences that they’d forgotten how to celebrate their similarities.
On a hard swallow, she met Evie’s gaze.
Her sister’s eyes were wide, wider than normal, and there was a suspicious glint in them even though Evie refused to let herself cry (she was convinced that tears caused wrinkles).
