How she despised how quickly he was capable of changing from one to the other! Shedding his emotions like a coat. Donning whatever clothing suited him. Whatever clothing protected him. Because that’s what he was doing. That’s what they werebothdoing, she acknowledged dimly. Protecting themselves. Like wounded wolves reaching out to nuzzle the hand that fed it one second... and drawing blood the next. Incapable of trusting that this time, this time, thisoneprecious time that could change everything if they allowed it, the person they wanted desperately to love wasn’t going to lead them into despair.
He was hurting her before she hurt him. Defending himself before she’d even landed a blow.
And maybe if she weren’t equally afraid, she might have been able to push past his defenses. To lay herself bare. To make herself vulnerable. To let hope in at the risk of her own harm. But she wasn’t strong enough. She wasn’t brave enough. After years of being pushed down, of being quiet, of learning that the best way to avoid pain was to hide, she lacked the ability to stand.
“That depends,” she said carefully. It was the best that she could manage, the most that she could give, and as a reward, she watched his gaze shutter and felt her stomach sink.
“Then I’ll call it a lesson because that’s what it was.”
“Where are you going?” she said when he climbed out of bed and strode, naked, to the blue room door.
“To get some bloody sleep.”
“Ambrose—”
“What?” he snarled, brows snapping together over the bridge of his nose.
“Nothing,” she said softly. “Nothing at all.”
*
For the secondnight in a row, Ambrose waited impatiently for Mara to appear for dinner. Aside from a brief and accidental crossing of paths in the garden, they’d not spoken since the night before when his dust sensitivity had flared and he’d experienced the most earth-shattering orgasm of his entire bloody life... followed by a quagmire of emotion that he’d had no idea what to do with.
That depends, she’d said when he asked her if she planned to seek companionship outside the bounds of their marriage. Two tiny words that had brought on such a surge of anger, of unadulterated rage, that if he’d not walked out when he had, he was almost certain he would have left something broken in his wake.
Not Mara.
He’d never lay a finger on Mara.
Never hurt a beautiful red hair on her infuriatingly stubborn little head.
But that ugly vase in the corner that he’d never particularly cared for... well, suffice it to say, that vase wouldn’t have stood a chance.
The worst of it was that he had not gone into her room with the intention of bedding her.
Very well, the thought had crossed his mind.
Briefly.
A dozen times.
In a single hour.
But that wasn’t why he’d paid her a visit. He’d wanted to tell her how cross he was with her for ignoring his request to join him for dinner. He’d wanted to communicate his annoyance. Wasn’t that what married couples did? Theycommunicated. But then she’d looked at him. A single look with those big doe eyes still sparkling with indignation from his earlier behavior (which had been, admittedly, quite boorish), and he was lost.
Lost to reason.
Lost to feeling.
Lost to Mara.
But that was then, and this was now, and where the hell was she? He’d sent a note, hadn’t he? A polite note requesting her presence in the dining room at precisely half past six. Except the last he’d checked, it was a quarter beyond seven... and it was clear that she intended to defy him again.
Cutting forcefully into the main course—roasted boar stuffed with apples and bathed in a blackberry-honey mustard sauce—he was in the middle of slaughtering the poor pig for a second time when an eerie, violent howl echoed through the house. Freezing mid-slice, Ambrose frowned at the footman standing in the corner. “What the devil was that noise?”
“There’s been a pack of wild dogs attacking livestock throughout the village,” said the servant, his face paling. “We’ve managed to keep them away from the castle by rounding up our animals at night and housing them in the barns, but by the sound of it, something’s lured them close to the house.”
Something...
