Page 107 of A Devious Secret

Stephen sighed. “You have a light about you that I never want to be responsible for dimming,” he said. “I can assure you that I mean it as the greatest compliment.”

Gemma felt herself relax at his words. “Where do you think I got that light from?” she asked as she moved to sit on the edge of her seat. “You brought it back into my life, and I want to share it with you.”

“I will only drag you down.”

“I do think you underestimate me.”

Stephen moved to the edge of his seat, bringing him closer to her. “Never,” he said. “Only a fool would do so.”

Gemma could reach out and touch Stephen if she wanted, but she kept her hands clasped firmly in her lap. But, heaven help her, she wanted to. There was something about him that drew her in, making her feel safe and protected.

Stephen glanced at the maid in the corner before saying, “I found him.”

“Your first lieutenant?” she asked.

He nodded. “Aye.”

“Where is he?”

“Dead.”

Gemma’s hand flew up to her mouth. “How did he die?”

A pained look came into his eyes. “He killed himself, but not before he admitted to betraying us all,” he murmured. “He told the French the route our ship was taking.”

Gemma gasped. “Why would he do such a thing?”

“He claimed that they threatened his family to do so.”

“You don’t believe he was being truthful?”

Stephen shrugged. “I don’t know what to believe anymore,” he said. “He could have come to me. I would have helped him.”

“What would you have done?”

“I don’t know, but he never gave me the opportunity to try,” Stephen replied. “Instead, he caused the slaughter of my crew.”

Gemma knew she was being brazen, but she reached for Stephen’s hand, encompassing it in her own. “What happened was not your fault.”

“How could it not be?” Stephen demanded. “Benjamin was my first lieutenant. I should have known—”

“Known what?” she asked, speaking over him. “That he would betray you.”

“There had to be some signs that I missed. There must have been.”

Gemma tightened her hold on his hand. “You cannot blame yourself for things you had no control over.”

“I was the captain. I am ultimately responsible for what happened on my ship.”

“Those deaths are not your fault.”

Stephen lowered his gaze to their hands. “I wish I could believe you, but every time I close my eyes, I hear the screams of my men. I failed them. I should have had the decency to have died alongside them.”

Gemma could hear the profound sadness in his voice, and it grieved her deeply. She knew he meant what he said, and she didn’t quite know what to say to make him feel better. How could she make him understand how empty her life would be without him in it?

Stephen pulled his hand back and abruptly rose. “It was a terrible idea for me to come this evening.”

“Then why did you come?”