‘They’re not going to come this side of the river,’ Benny counters.
‘The river is officially ours, but in their eyes it is disputed territory,’ Kyor bites back. ‘None of you have experience with this land. I have, and I’m telling you, we’re safer with the lake.’
I’ve got one memory of the lake, and safety is definitely not what comes to mind. Instead, all I can think of is the spectres that filled the air, and the voices in my head, telling me to do dreadful things.
An image of Oke’s dead body flashes into my mind, a red splash among all the white.
Kyor looks at me, and his jaw softens a fraction. He’s remembering the same thing.
Something changed between us that day. He saved my life, stopping me from slitting my own throat, but he also saw what I was capable of. Saw the magic in me that could see Kay and me murdered.
Our eyes hold for a moment before he looks away.
Thessa and Stide are engaged in light conversation a little way away. What I’d really like is the Sannings’ opinion on the matter. I’m sure they know which way is best for us to go, but they always stay remarkably silent during these discussions.
‘Thessa, Stide,’ I interrupt them. ‘You want to weigh in? You agreed to guide us, and so far … there’s been almost no guiding, and literally none since the hule.’
Thessa gives a beatific smile. ‘We guided your feet before, The Rose. Now we guide your souls.’
My jaw drops. ‘Are you kidding me?’ It comes out high-pitched and irritated.
Stide smirks. ‘I know. Tough job.’
I give her the best glare I have. But, if anything, her smile widens.
The discussion threatens to become more spirited, but before I can tell Stide exactly what I think of her guidance, another sound interrupts us. Elska. It’s not a growl so much as a whine, and I’m pretty sure it’s the first time I’ve ever heard her make a noise like that.
Something tells me it’s not a good thing. It almost sounds as if she’s in pain.
As Elska whines again, insistent, Kyor’s attention flicks to her, and something indecipherable flashes across his face. He draws in a long inhale. ‘Okay. We’ll go west,’ he says. ‘To the Taron River. Then I want out of that area as quickly as possible.’
His sudden capitulation makes my frown deepen. It isnotlike Kyor to give in to anything.
‘Fine then. We’re agreed,’ Benny says. ‘Let’s keep going. We still have some light left.’
With a nudge of our horses, we’re back on the road, but while the others continue their conversations, I remain silent, my attention locked on the prince leading us.
I wish Kyor would speak to me about anything other than directions, though what we could possibly talk about, I don’t know. How I hid Benny’s truth from him? How he continues to hide whatever it is he’s bound to secrecy over? Or how my brother, who his father condemned to death, still lives?
Despite me telling Kyor I love him, William’s continued existence isn’t something I can risk him knowing.
Maybe talking isn’t best after all. Still, I can’t stop stealing glances at him, unable to tear my eyes away for long. He’s definitely favouring his injured shoulder, and there are little lines of pain around his forehead.
The dose of Robbard’s tincture he took last night is bound to have worn off, and I wonder if I should remind him to take some more. But he’s a grown man. He doesn’t need me mothering him, and so I stay silent. If the pain gets bad enough, I’m sure he’ll remember to take it.
Then again, this is Kyor we’re talking about. He’s probably treating the pain as some kind of penance for letting Benny live.
The day drags on. Stops for food are brief and mostly silent, and weset up camp for the night when we can hear the rush of the river water, although it’s not yet visible through the density of the trees.
Loch is having the worst night I’ve seen in a while, pacing up and down as he wrings his hands. I thought his muttering was uneasy, but it’s the moments he stops, when he plummets into a silence so impenetrable that it’s as if he’s been pulled into the forest itself, that are the hardest.
Benny tries his best, and Ruben, too, with the pair taking turns trying to calm him, or at least remain by his side so that he doesn’t wander too far, but Loch’s not the only one struggling.
Elska is also prowling, constantly circling us and whining as she does so. Like Loch, the moments she stops are almost as hard as the ones filled with her whimpers.
If she had been acting like this yesterday, I would have asked Kyor if he knew what was disturbing her and if there was anything I could do to help. But the last thing I need to hear is that her pain is his – that his injury is hurting her.
Or worse still, that the response is a shared mourning for Zelle – their torture over being so close to Benny, knowing he’s the one who brought about their friend’s death.
