My mind is whirling, because Etta surelyknew.
Etta knew what powers I had, and she gave me more besides. Why would she do this to me? My anger seethes at the capriciousness of the Gods, playing with our lives like they are nothing.
Still, I asked for my magic back, and she gave it to me. In spades. I can hardly complain now. Be careful what you wish for, indeed.
The group’s unease at Kyor’s comment hangs thick and suffocating, and for a moment no one breathes. Then, in silence, Ruben reaches out and takes a piece of meat from the fire.
‘You know, I think I’ve eaten better on this trip than I ever did in the slums,’ Ruben says, trying to change the subject in a typically cumbersome manner. ‘If I’d known what it was like out of the city, maybe I would have packed up life there and come here earlier. Become a nomad.’
‘If you had done so,’ Kyor begins drily, ‘there’s a fair chance you would have been ripped limb from limb by an unbonded dire wolf before you even managed to catch so much as a rabbit. But I’m happy to leave you here if you want to try flying solo?’ His words are sharp, but his tone is far less acerbic than it’s been for days, and there’s something almost close to gratitude glinting in his eyes.
Something has shifted between them, and whatever it is, I’m relieved. Their constant sniping was wearing on the whole group, and we have enough to deal with without their idiotic posturing being thrown into the mix.
‘Maybe on the way back,’ Ruben responds lightly with a grin.
We all smile a bit at that, though it only takes a moment before our joviality fades. Our gazes drift to Loch, still wrapped in blankets by the fire, rocking back and forth, silent and watchful.
I’ve tried not to speak about him, even when he’s looked asleep, knowing that he’d still be able to hear, but there’s no denying hispresence hovers over us uncomfortably. At some point, one of us has to mention him. In the end, it’s Caz who breaks first.
‘It’s a miracle he survived,’ she whispers.
‘No, it’s not,’ Benny replies. ‘It’s skill. He’d hear predators coming from miles off. Follow the sound of a stream to find water. Though he has probably spent the last few weeks in a constant state of fear. Constantly alert. I can only imagine what that type of adrenaline would do to the body after so long.’
‘Poor guy,’ Kyor says quietly.
‘We need to get him help,’ Caz suggests. ‘Maybe we can leave him with some priestesses in Galreck?’
She’s right. The herbs and magic I used should stop any infections worsening and hopefully clear them completely in a few days, but that’s just his body with its visible wounds. It’s a far easier thing to heal than a fractured mind.
‘We’ll see how he’s doing.’ Benny’s jaw locks. ‘It was Etta’s priestesses from Wrohelm who left him out here to die,’ he says pointedly. ‘So you’ll understand why I don’t want him anywhere near the cloaks.’
‘Perhaps they didn’t know he was still alive,’ Ruben offers. ‘The forest is pretty damn big.’
‘Right,’ Caz agrees. ‘It might not have been a deliberate omission.’
But they’re the only non-Rettlings. The rest of us know full well what the priestesses were capable of in the name of their Goddess.
The priestesses knew exactly who remained alive during the third trial, when we crossed the frozen lake filled with Issen spirits, and it wasn’t because they could see us. The fog was far too dense for that. And if they knew there, why wouldn’t they have known here?
No, they knew – and they left Loch anyway.
Maybe they left him because he was so close to death that they thought he wouldn’t make it. Maybe it was too much of a risk to get him out.
I hope so, anyway, because the other option is that they deliberately left him here to die. And that makes me feel sick. The cloaks are supposed to heal, not harm. Be saviours, not destroyers.
‘We should get some sleep,’ I say, breaking the icy tension that’s clawing at the air around us. ‘We need tobe up and off early tomorrow to make up for lost time. Any sign of the Myrkr?’ I add as an aside to Kyor, only to cause a collective shudder to ripple through the group.
‘No, but we mustn’t be complacent. We need to keep watch,’ Kyor says. ‘I’ll take the first stint.’
As the rest of us agree on the order for other watches, I can’t help but wonder if there might be a time when we actually get to sleep safely through the night again.
Other than those nights curled up with Kyor, in his room by the kitchen, the last time I felt close to safe was sleeping in the slums.
So much for thinking the Goddess’s gifts would solve even my basic needs. I’m still cold, I’m still fearing for my family, and right now, a safe night’s sleep feels a long, long way away.
Chapter 28
The next morning, I awaken with gritty eyes and a tiredness in my limbs that suggests I barely slept. The others seem to have suffered similarly, and silence has settled into the bones of the group.
