EVIE
IGET INTO MY DORM ROOM, SHUT THE DOOR, AND LEAN AGAINST IT.HAS IT REALLY BEEN LESS THANtwenty-four hours since I left?It feels more like twenty-four years.
Annie is not here, but she’s left a neon mosaic wall of Post-Its above my desk.She knew I didn’t have my phone, yet she couldn’t contain her curiosity.
Where are you?
You said you’d be here soon!!!
OMG!I have to go to a study group meeting.
Ugh, why are you not home yet?
Also, Viktor’s phone—WTF?
You have a lot of explaining to do.
Annie’s energy could power all of Humphrey Hall.She would never desert me at a party.
I’m not often alone in our room, so it’s a chance for me to video-call my mother.At first, something is wrong, and we can’t hear each other.She fiddles with her laptop, giving me time to really look.She’s sitting at her writing desk.I can see the ornate curlicue wallpaper behind her and the brass wall sconce.And seeing her familiar face, so far away yet so close eases something in me.I’ve maintained my cover all day, all week really, but now I’m in a safe space.
Oh, silly me, I forgot to adjust the volume.She smiles and looks up.Oh Evelyn, are you crying?
I nod, unable to speak because of the tears flowing down my cheeks.I grab tissues and dab at my face.
Darling, what’s wrong?she asks.
It feels strange to have to edit what I share with my mother, but I’ve seldom had chances to make big mistakes before.I certainly can’t tell her about Dougie and the frat house because that’s serious enough for her to involve my father.So I settle for the person who is making my heart hurt right now.
There’s a guy I like.But he doesn’t like me back.I wonder if these words have been said by young women for decades.
Would you like to tell me about him?she invites in her gentle way.
Without hyperbole, he’s the most impressive man at Monarch.
To think that when I woke up this morning, I didn’t even like him.But everything that happened today—the way he rescued me, all his consideration, his forceful personality, his smouldering attractiveness—completely changed the way I see him.
My mother bows her head, no doubt trying to hide her amusement at my dramatic pronouncement.
Who is this boy?she asks.
His name is Viktor.And he’s a man, not a boy.He’s captain of the hockey team and a leader.But more importantly, he’s a good person.Someone who does the right things regardless of the cost to him.
Well, it sounds like you really like him.Have you spent a lot of time with him?
I slept in his bed last night, but I definitely can’t share that fact.It doesn’t matter.Nothing’s going to happen between us.
Evelyn, this is all a part of maturing.You’ve had a very sheltered childhood, so it’s good for you to meet new people and experience new emotions.All your experiences won’t be positive, but that will help you grow as a person.
My expression must be skeptical, because she adds,Soon, you’ll meet someone who will make you forget all about this Viktor.
Nobody is going to measure up to him,I say mulishly.
Darling, it’s fine to have a crush, even if it’s unrequited.It’s a good way to exercise your feelings.But you don’t want to spend too much time fantasizing about someone unattainable.It’s better to have realistic goals.
She knows my obsessive soul all too well.
Okay, fine.I’ll put a three-week limit on my crush on Viktor.After that, I’m moving on.
