He sounds so bereft that I reach over and stroke his firm arm.For a moment, he leans back and closes his eyes, then he jerks his arm out of my reach.I shove the offending hand into my sweater pocket.
Viktor looks out the window.If he gets away with what he did to you, he’ll just do it again.And maybe the next woman won’t be as lucky.
I get it,I reiterate.I’ve been so selfish lately, and this is my wake-up call.I wonder if I’ll have to make some kind of statement or testimony.I’m not even the person who saw what happened, but I can describe what happened before.
Also, there were no photos.Graham checked for me.
I murmur my thanks once again.
Oh, and here’s your pen.Viktor reaches into his jacket and pulls out a blue ballpoint pen.
My pen?
Yes, you dropped it last night in that asshole’s room.I thought it was important to you.
When I hold the pen, memory returns.Dougie’s sweaty, alcohol-scented body hovering over me.My utter helplessness.Then the pounding on the door and shouting voices.Seeing the pen on the bedside table and hearing my father’s voice:In an emergency, anything can be a weapon.Fighting lethargy to grasp the pen.Realizing I had just one chance to strike, and I’d have to go for his eye socket.
I open the car door, scramble out, and vomit on the pavement.
Fuck, Evie.Are you okay?Viktor is instantly behind me, stroking my back with a gentle hand.I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have talked so much about what happened.Or lectured you.
It’s not that.I stay crouched for a few moments until I feel better.When I stand, he reaches into the car and passes me another unopened bottle of water.He politely looks away, as I rinse out my mouth and spit.Perhaps I should feel embarrassed, but I only feel gratitude.Viktor is the best person to have around when things are going wrong.
We walk into the hospital emergency room.The nurse there recognizes him—and me, even though I have no memory of this place—and knows what to do.She takes down all my information and then guides me into an examination room, alone.
You might have to wait a bit, since you’re not really an emergency,she explains.
That’s fine.Would it be all right if I changed my clothes?
She directs me to a washroom where I put on my jeans and top.And I pull my toiletries kit from my purse and brush my teeth.I return to the examination room, feeling refreshed and more like myself.I take out my phone and read through the many messages I got from Annie, as well as ones from Des and Mia.
Someone knocks on the door and enters.It’s a doctor in his thirties as well as the blonde nurse I met before.
Hi Evelyn.I’m Dr.Arbor.We met last night, but you probably don’t remember that.
I don’t remember much from last night,I agree.
Well, Suzanna and I examined you last night to make sure that the sedatives in your system were not health-threatening.You seem to be fully recovered now?
I nod.
Good, good.Did you have any questions about what happened?he asks.
Not really.Viktor explained everything.I was very lucky,I reply.
Well, one thing we didn’t do last night was an internal examination.Since you were unconscious and couldn’t give consent, we did a visual examination.You showed no signs of sexual assault—and your friends confirmed that there was no indication that had happened, so we decided not to proceed.But we can test you for STIs and do a rape kit now if you would like.Do you know what a rape kit is?
Yes.But wouldn’t I know if I’d been attacked?Like soreness or whatever?I feel completely normal.
Exactly.An examination would only affirm that.We wouldn’t be able to tell if you’d been assaulted in any other way.
I want to ask what other ways there are, but decide to use my imagination.Of course, I don’t want an unnecessary internal examination, but it’s not just about me.If I have to testify about what happened to me, would it better to have this examination?
Dr.Arbor considers this.If you were assaulted, then definitely.If not, then I’m uncertain if it would matter.But it might put your own mind at ease.
So I agree to have the procedure done even though it’s uncomfortable and embarrassing.Ironically, the examination leaves me feeling more tender than I was before.After I’m dressed, the nurse comes back in.
The results will be sent to you,she says.
