“He sounds crazy,andI want the long story at some point.”
She pushes me playfully and I tell her I’m serious. We keep walking and she continues. “I got you. Anyway, after crying for like a week straight, the girls took me to get the piercing and those earrings were like love at first sight. I decided that next time something had to give, it wouldn’t be me. I’m not changing for anyone else.”
I clap for her, and she smiles.
“You shouldn’t. I think you’re amazing exactly how you are,” I tell her honestly, eyes straight ahead.
“Stop and say it to my face,” she demands.
I turn to her. Her head is tilted, and her hands are on her hips.
“Again, please,” she says.
“Deanna, I think you’re amazing exactly how you are,” I declare, looking her full-on in the face.
Her smile is so wide each corner seems to reach her ears. “Oh, so you want to go to homecoming with me is what you’re saying?”
I laugh nervously.I do.
She’s waiting patiently for an answer, but I want to do one better. I lean in to kiss her instead.
“It’s a date!” she yells.
“That you, Jasmine?” my mom calls from the kitchen just as I take my first step on the staircase. I was hoping to sneak upstairs. I’m meeting Amari at the movies in a few days and I’m starting to get really nervous.
“Come taste this,” she says, sounding excited.
I drop my phone and bag and head straight to her.
The kitchen smells like a lot of different seasonings, but when she pulls the wooden spoon out of a pot, it all makes sense.
“I made my own pasta sauce,” she says proudly, holding the spoon over her hand for me to taste. I know this is important to her. Working multiple jobs, she never had the time to cook before, so being able to do this kind of thing makes her feel like she is taking care of her family—taking care of me.
I slurp a little bit off the spoon. “It’s hot!” I yell, sticking out my tongue.
My mom looks like she wants to laugh until she realizes I’m serious. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t think it was that hot.”
“Well, it’s good,” I say, and start to leave the kitchen.
“Mmmhmm.” She sets the spoon on its rest and touchesmy shoulder. “How are things, Jas? You seem a little distracted lately.”
I pause for a moment, wondering what it would feel like to tell her everything that’s going on—getting closer to Kayla, getting closer to Deanna, and most important, Amari being back in the picture, pushing on the edges of my life, trying to get back in. Could I tell her I’m thinking about meeting up with Amari? Maybe she would appreciate my honesty. But more likely, she’d be upset with me for not telling her about Amari the second she contacted me and for even considering meeting up with her, given all the progress I’ve been making. In some ways, I think this is the closest we’ve ever been, and the last thing I want to do is ruin it.
This would.
“I’m fine,” I say.
She crosses her arms and leans back on the fridge. “You sure?” she asks with a concerned look. I know she wants things to be less complicated than they were before. If there’s anything I want right now, it’s to not give her anything to worry about.
“I’m just tired,” I lie.
She nods her head, but her lips are pressed into a thin line. “All right,” she says.
I take an apple from the bowl on the counter. “I’ll be in my room,” I say.
She goes back to stirring the pot. I don’t know if she believes me, but she’s playing it off well. I grab my stuff and head upstairs when she calls my name.
“Everything will work out just fine, Jasmine,” she says.
