I take a deep breath and throw my head back dramatically. “If you’re going to be that cute about it then I guess I have to,” I say with a shrug.
Kayla shrieks and wraps me in a quick hug. “Now, let’s go put a little bit of lipstick on you and maybe even some lashes?”
I laugh and follow her out of the theater. “Don’t make me change my mind!”
“Too late, it’s party time!!” Kayla says, running the rest of the way to Alice’s room. She stops once to make sure I’m still with her. Music pours through Alice’s door and I let thoughts of my mom and her warnings slip to the back of my mind.
As soon as we step inside, Deanna throws a dress my way. “Jasmine, this would look great on you,” she says.
I hold it out in front of me. It’s a silky black slip dress with spaghetti straps.
“Ooh yes,” Kenny says, turning to face us from where she sits in front of a full-length mirror. She has mascara in one hand and lip gloss in the other. “Wear that.”
“I agree!” Mel chimes in, fastening a pair of dangly silver earrings.
“All right,” I say. “I’ll try it.” As I’m changing in the bathroom, I hear Alice asking if she should wear sneakers or boots. Kayla’s debating putting her hair up or keeping it down, and Mel’s pushing Deanna to go for a bold pink lipstick. It’s all so normal.
I try to find my way back to the girl I was before the center, who could have fun at a moment’s notice. I want to be her tonight, the fun Jasmine.
Then
After another call with my mom, I told Dr. Rose it feels like we’re on an emotional roller coaster. One minute my mom and I are arguing about me feeling like I’m being replaced, and the next we’re reminiscing about her weird remedies and tiptoeing through memories. Dr. Rose said it’s possible we’re both just tired of trying to be right all the time, but she always tries to take both sides of every situation.
I get back to the unit a little early, and all the other girls are still in gym class. For the first time ever, I have the rec room to myself. I’m taking full advantage of being alone and, like Goldilocks before the three bears got home, sit in every seat to see which one is actually the most comfortable. None of them are. I lie halfway across my usual couch and close my eyes.
“Dinner’s on the unit tonight so you can go take your shower early,” Ms. Pat calls out.
I open my eyes and see her standing at the office door. “Now?” I ask.
“Yes, ma’am,” she says. “Pizza night.”
I pull myself up and head to my room to get my shower stuff.
“Samantha is on her way, too,” Ms. Pat adds.
I wonder what she did to get herself on the unit so early.We’ve been talking more and more since she told me about her plan to run away a couple of weeks ago, so I don’t feel hesitant to ask. I’m surprised she’s coming to pizza night because she doesn’t like to hang out with the other girls in a big group. “Too much drama,” she said. Maybe she figures I’ll be there and she can just stick with me.
I sit on Samantha’s bed to change out of my sneakers and into my slippers. Taking my time, I grab a clean towel, clean pajamas, and my toiletry bin before heading to the bathroom. It’s strangely quiet inside and I notice how much bigger it seems without a bunch of girls fighting over sink space. I drop my things on the bench and pull the curtain to the first shower. When I turn the water on, it’s freezing.
Samantha pops her head in. “Roomie!!” she squeals.
I grab my towel and throw it up in front of me as quickly as I can. “You scared me!”
“Sorry. Well, not really. I wanted to.” She laughs.
“Why aren’t you at the gym?” I ask.
Samantha leans her head against the doorframe and makes a face. “I told them I wasn’t feeling well. I have to prepare,” she says, wiggling her dark eyebrows.
“For?” I ask, hoping she’s not talking about what I think she is.
“You know!” She looks out the door behind her to make sure no one is nearby. “I’m out of here.”
“NOW?!”
“No, but definitely today.”
I sigh deeply and go check the water. It’s still cold. “Samantha,” I say, turning back to her, “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
