“What do you mean?”
“An it. He wouldn’t say ‘she’ or ‘Emma’. He said ‘it’ or ‘baby’.” The disgust in Liz’s voice is ugly and honest.
I hate him for that, and I hate that I am the one who has to stand up for him. But I can’t let it go if there’s a chance he’ll be back in our lives down the line. I push forward. “Maybe he was scared. Maybe he couldn’t process it at the moment. Maybe he forgot she’s a girl. People do stupid things when they’re scared.”
“I said ‘she’ at least twice during that same conversation, Ben. He knew.” She’s irritated, and rightly so.
“I don’t know, Liz. All I know is I cannot imagine walking away from a baby. I understand fear, but this is not fear. It’s abdication.” I want to promise her the moon; instead I promise myself something practical. “He’ll see it, I’ll bet on it. And if he doesn’t, we’ll handle it. Emma won’t be alone.”
She swallows and looks at me, that steady, searching look that makes me feel both helpless and ferocious. I don’t have a tele-porter (though seriously, someone should invent one), but I have something else: I’ve got time, money, and the willingness to go toe-to-toe if it ever comes to that. If Matt tries to come after her, I will be in the ring. I will not let him take her future from us without a fight.
“Promise?” she whispers.
“Promise,” I say. Not some wistful, reckless vow but a steady, teeth-gritted promise. Whatever comes, we’ll face it together. And if anyone ever invents a tele-porter, I’ll be first in line. Just in case.
Chapter 74
Liz, June 21
He’s decided to walk away.
Mikayla, my lawyer, called this morning and explained she’ll be meeting with Matt’s lawyer this week to get the papers in order. Just like that, something that once felt impossible has turned into a legal formality.
And me? I’m actually okay with it. Crazy, right? But when I tried to picture Matt as a father, it never quite fit. I couldn’t reconcile workaholic Matt with Super Dad Matt. The images never lined up.
Ben, though—that’s different.
Ben will wrap Emma in a hug so warm it melts her tears. I know because I’ve felt that hug. Ben will listen when Emma slams her bedroom door and rants about how unfair life is. I know because I’ve seen him listen to me. Ben will love this baby with everything he has.
We both will.
And for the first time in weeks, when I press a hand to my belly, I don’t feel the weight of what I’ve lost. I feel the strength of what’s ahead.
Chapter 75
Ben, July 7
I’m so excited that I’m awake, showered, shaved, dressed, and fed by four AM. In fact, I’m literally pacing the living room at four AM. On a Saturday. Why am I worse than an excited child scheduled to visit a theme park on their birthday? I’m expected at the airport at eight this morning to fly to America. By the time I return to England, I’ll have my girls in tow. I’m bringing them home!
There’s also a small diamond ring hidden in my carry-on luggage. But I remember Liz’s reaction to finding Matt’s ring, so I’m not convinced I’ll do anything with this. The die-hard bachelor in me is aware how shocking it is that Ben Smith even purchased an engagement ring. Liz and I have been officially dating for about three months, but the idea of losing her again is unacceptable. In fact, the idea of spending any less than the rest of my life with her is unacceptable. I can’t explain it to you other bachelors out there.
Wait, I can. Here it is. If some evil genie showed up and forced me to choose between beer or Liz — as in no beer for the rest of my life if I choose Liz, or no Liz for the rest of my life if I choose beer — I’d choose Liz every time.
Right this very second, I cannot think of a single damn thing I’d choose over Liz if that evil genie tried something else either.
Chapter 76
Liz, July 7
I can’t stop my leg from bouncing. It’s like a jackhammer is trapped under my skin. I’m sitting in the Sky Harbor airport terminal, anxiously awaiting the imminent arrival of my favorite Brit.
The tall woman with the permanent lemon-sucking expression opens the terminal gate, and suddenly the stream of passengers begins. Flight attendants with rolling suitcases, business types in suits and ties, families herding overtired kids, men already flipping open their cell phones.
I catch a flash of blonde hair above a child’s head—but it disappears behind the mother. My heart leaps and sinks all at once.
Then, like the sea itself parts for me, I see him.
Ben.
